Some genius somewhere decided that there weren't enough flicks about Hitchcock...and then decided that two flick should come out at the same time.
Saw them both...liked one better than the other, hands down...and of course, it lead to THIS discussion:
So what if a movie was made about the making of "The Shining"?
Oh shit...
And who would play who?
We're glad you asked.
Stanley Kubrick: Dominic Cooper
Stephen King: Nicholas Hoult
Jack Nicholson: Christian Slater
Shelley Duvall: Rebecca Hall
Scatman Crothers: Mario Van Peebles
Joe Turkel (Lloyd The Bartender): Burn Gorman or Joseph Gordon Levitt Or James Franco (ok now we're just having too much fun)
and so on and so forth for the rest of the cast because the film would really be focusing on Kubrick's day to day dealings with the cast...and who are the actual cast members he would dealing with the most? So there you have it...your cinematic earwig for the rest of whatever. Oh wait... now imagine if it was written by Aaron Sorkin... And now you want to watch it!!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
When in Doubt, Back To The Drawing Board...
I have been saying that ALOT lately...
Back to the drawing board...and of course, I say it in my head in the fashion of Wyle E. Coyote... Cause it's funny...
I got a book from my Guria for my birthday...and with that book (cause she knows me) was another book... blank pages of an unwritten confession..so she says... and she's not wrong. I miss it. I do. I miss my daily entries... and I told myself, I would return to them when I was ready. My hiatus is nearly to an end. My carpel tunnel, however...is not...thank Jebus for wrist supports...
I almost gave into a version of myself that takes up about 4% real estate of my brain... that version of myself thinks that they can take a Smash journal and use it over a nice long span of time... when in reality, the MOST of my brain would probably finish that damn thing in a week... or less... less is more likely...
Fuck me... even typing hurts now...and since I can't win...I'm just going to go back to writing...
After being in Michaels and seeing all those beautiful journals in all their various allowance glory... I realized something...I had it down... I had it down to my personality already. I didn't need glitz, and tabs, and stickers, (well maybe stickers) and labels and shit... basically a scrapbook... I don't like scrapbooks... I find myself taking them too seriously...and then they don't get finished...or they DO get finished, but then they mean as much to me as that paper I wrote three hours before it was due, receiving a mediocrely deserved A- in the process...
I was crocheting yet ANOTHER late entry into my Christmas list of giving, dug deep to fish a pencil out of my awesome Owl Tote Ma got me as a early Christmas-present-just-cause-I-got-a-killer-ass-deal-at-Old-navy kind of thing... I found the pencil..inside the awesome, blue embossed covered journal my Guria got me for my bday..still empty...and it didn't bother me that it was empty before...but it bothered me today...and just today I had all these things come up... with seeing the Smash journals at Hobby Lobby and then again at Michael's...had a chat about my bajillion journals at the foot of my closet...and then finding something I hadn't seen in 5 months... probably because I subconsciously hid it so I wouldn't feel it's eyes boring into the back of my skull... So, since typing kills me anyways, and I think maybe some of my inspriations I had when I started doing this might come back to me in the process...I think it's time to end my hiatus from the journaling. It's too coincidental, don't you think? I think so too...
Speaking of back to the drawing board...I think I finally found a liquid homemade laundry soap that goes well with cold water recipe for us to try. We are both on board with the experiment, and with a half bottle of brand soap to go, it's time to fish or cut bait... or insert your own decision making analogy here...
On the list of DIY's... No Poo...yes I know... I'm gonna try it. I have a need for head n shoulders and I'm wondering if I perpetuate the need because of all the crap in the shampoo and conditioner ... so I'm gonna try the homemade stuff and see what happens. It's winter, it's the perfect time to try it because I can wear hats during the Dirty Thirty Day trial period that I have been reassured is going to happen. I have organic coconut oil at hand for dryness... I'm excited to try this. if it works for me and I can get it down to a science, I will be introducing it to Choners and the Things... yay!! Got to see my bestie from Sin City today and not for long enough... *sad face*... but she'll never move back here and I'll NEVER EVER move my ass there... so it's one of those things that I gotta get over... and I'm over it. Doesn't mean I can't be sad about it once it awhile, right? Right! Christmas countdown is underweigh and for the slimness of the giving and receiving, it's gonna be an awesome Christmas. I can already feel it being one mostly of the reason of the season and less about the commercializing of the season... wa-hoo.
In a nutshell...feeling very "back to the drawing board"...but ... in the BEST way possible. Super uber refreshing way possible...even Fallon and Timberlake are taking it back to the drawing board. I must be on to something... Next obsession on my list... my new camera lens.. My lil cuz is amazing and I'm DYING to get my lens. I might even get a flash... with a dome diffuser... but that's...another story...
Back to the drawing board...and of course, I say it in my head in the fashion of Wyle E. Coyote... Cause it's funny...
I got a book from my Guria for my birthday...and with that book (cause she knows me) was another book... blank pages of an unwritten confession..so she says... and she's not wrong. I miss it. I do. I miss my daily entries... and I told myself, I would return to them when I was ready. My hiatus is nearly to an end. My carpel tunnel, however...is not...thank Jebus for wrist supports...
I almost gave into a version of myself that takes up about 4% real estate of my brain... that version of myself thinks that they can take a Smash journal and use it over a nice long span of time... when in reality, the MOST of my brain would probably finish that damn thing in a week... or less... less is more likely...
Fuck me... even typing hurts now...and since I can't win...I'm just going to go back to writing...
After being in Michaels and seeing all those beautiful journals in all their various allowance glory... I realized something...I had it down... I had it down to my personality already. I didn't need glitz, and tabs, and stickers, (well maybe stickers) and labels and shit... basically a scrapbook... I don't like scrapbooks... I find myself taking them too seriously...and then they don't get finished...or they DO get finished, but then they mean as much to me as that paper I wrote three hours before it was due, receiving a mediocrely deserved A- in the process...
I was crocheting yet ANOTHER late entry into my Christmas list of giving, dug deep to fish a pencil out of my awesome Owl Tote Ma got me as a early Christmas-present-just-cause-I-got-a-killer-ass-deal-at-Old-navy kind of thing... I found the pencil..inside the awesome, blue embossed covered journal my Guria got me for my bday..still empty...and it didn't bother me that it was empty before...but it bothered me today...and just today I had all these things come up... with seeing the Smash journals at Hobby Lobby and then again at Michael's...had a chat about my bajillion journals at the foot of my closet...and then finding something I hadn't seen in 5 months... probably because I subconsciously hid it so I wouldn't feel it's eyes boring into the back of my skull... So, since typing kills me anyways, and I think maybe some of my inspriations I had when I started doing this might come back to me in the process...I think it's time to end my hiatus from the journaling. It's too coincidental, don't you think? I think so too...
Speaking of back to the drawing board...I think I finally found a liquid homemade laundry soap that goes well with cold water recipe for us to try. We are both on board with the experiment, and with a half bottle of brand soap to go, it's time to fish or cut bait... or insert your own decision making analogy here...
On the list of DIY's... No Poo...yes I know... I'm gonna try it. I have a need for head n shoulders and I'm wondering if I perpetuate the need because of all the crap in the shampoo and conditioner ... so I'm gonna try the homemade stuff and see what happens. It's winter, it's the perfect time to try it because I can wear hats during the Dirty Thirty Day trial period that I have been reassured is going to happen. I have organic coconut oil at hand for dryness... I'm excited to try this. if it works for me and I can get it down to a science, I will be introducing it to Choners and the Things... yay!! Got to see my bestie from Sin City today and not for long enough... *sad face*... but she'll never move back here and I'll NEVER EVER move my ass there... so it's one of those things that I gotta get over... and I'm over it. Doesn't mean I can't be sad about it once it awhile, right? Right! Christmas countdown is underweigh and for the slimness of the giving and receiving, it's gonna be an awesome Christmas. I can already feel it being one mostly of the reason of the season and less about the commercializing of the season... wa-hoo.
In a nutshell...feeling very "back to the drawing board"...but ... in the BEST way possible. Super uber refreshing way possible...even Fallon and Timberlake are taking it back to the drawing board. I must be on to something... Next obsession on my list... my new camera lens.. My lil cuz is amazing and I'm DYING to get my lens. I might even get a flash... with a dome diffuser... but that's...another story...
Friday, November 22, 2013
♪Oh The Weather Outside Is Weather...♪
I have been crafting up a storm and the man has been baking cookies fresh for Thing 1's lunches... peanut butter oatmeal. Yum! Cookies make the house warm and it smells like the holidays already! Generally I am ALL about making room for Thanksgiving so it doesn't feel like the redheaded stepchild of the holiday season, but this year man, it just seems like we need the OOMPH into Christmas. Luckily for me, I have never had decorations for Thanksgiving and the stores decided to lump Halloween and Thanksgiving together this year. Amazingly enough, I now have Thanksgiving décor due to the storewide "fall" clearances that did the lumping together! Haha!
Ma and her man are doing well...we like him. He might be around for Thanksgiving... hope so... he's fun. It's going to be a small Thanksgiving this year, much like Christmas. I'm just glad I finished shopping already. I get to sit back and enjoy now. Generally, what we do is take the Friday after Thanksgiving to decorate like so many people I'm sure do. This year, I'm jumping the gun...and get this...at the request of Choners...he is usually VERY adamant about giving Turkey Day it's due. Well, this year, he wants his cake and he's going to eat it too... Next Monday, whether the big one goes to day care or not, we are doing our Christmas décor. It's something to pass the time and we might have Knott's plans on Saturday... but until that is certain I don't want to make any plans in stone. So I say, the general idea will be to get out the Christmas awesomeness for Monday... and if Thing 1 goes, she will come home to a winter wonderland in the house :) Also, I am planning on lights outside this year! Shhh, don't tell Mister...
This weekend is family weekend, we're gonna see a lot of his family :) I say his family, but they're really OUR family...It's funny, I just wanted to specify WHICH side of the family, mine or his... I could say The Brown side... But really, that doesn't help... us Irish have been known to have the fever. So both sides are relatively brown.. hehehe...
Tuesday is Christmas pictures... I have been saying, I want to make more image heavy posts, but I haven't yet. I think because I don't plan them THAT far ahead... so it's hard to do. Also, I love my camera. I love it SO much I'm afraid to leave the house with it... I know.. shut up... I got a filter for it to protect the lens so perhaps I would feel better about letting it bang around my back pack... wrapped in a scarf... and maybe a sweater.
Next years tax return already has a portion dedicated to my new lens. My cousin Ace is in "the business" and he helped me out HUGE on shopping around for my next lens purchase... And the more Choni is working on his film project the more I think he will probably want to use the Nikon for projects... A new lens wouldn't hurt! Ace said that my camera body and specs are great, I should be getting great results when I put the new lens on ...next year...
I am LOVING the weather...cold. I love cold. Snuggles, soup, hot cocoa, coffee NOT for my morning commute... aaaahhhh... Blankets on the couches... I LOVE blankets... kid snuggles... and when the decorations go up...the soft warm glow of the tree... oh yeah... that's the stuff....
Today is my last work day of November and I start my staycation... Thing 1 asked if I had any time off that overlapped HER time off...so I made some... cause sometimes, you just have to. I hope this allergy/cold thing goes away... Maybe with a little help from my friends Alka Seltzer and Nyquil...
Too bad there's not a way to make people leave comments... I want comments...
Ma and her man are doing well...we like him. He might be around for Thanksgiving... hope so... he's fun. It's going to be a small Thanksgiving this year, much like Christmas. I'm just glad I finished shopping already. I get to sit back and enjoy now. Generally, what we do is take the Friday after Thanksgiving to decorate like so many people I'm sure do. This year, I'm jumping the gun...and get this...at the request of Choners...he is usually VERY adamant about giving Turkey Day it's due. Well, this year, he wants his cake and he's going to eat it too... Next Monday, whether the big one goes to day care or not, we are doing our Christmas décor. It's something to pass the time and we might have Knott's plans on Saturday... but until that is certain I don't want to make any plans in stone. So I say, the general idea will be to get out the Christmas awesomeness for Monday... and if Thing 1 goes, she will come home to a winter wonderland in the house :) Also, I am planning on lights outside this year! Shhh, don't tell Mister...
This weekend is family weekend, we're gonna see a lot of his family :) I say his family, but they're really OUR family...It's funny, I just wanted to specify WHICH side of the family, mine or his... I could say The Brown side... But really, that doesn't help... us Irish have been known to have the fever. So both sides are relatively brown.. hehehe...
Tuesday is Christmas pictures... I have been saying, I want to make more image heavy posts, but I haven't yet. I think because I don't plan them THAT far ahead... so it's hard to do. Also, I love my camera. I love it SO much I'm afraid to leave the house with it... I know.. shut up... I got a filter for it to protect the lens so perhaps I would feel better about letting it bang around my back pack... wrapped in a scarf... and maybe a sweater.
Next years tax return already has a portion dedicated to my new lens. My cousin Ace is in "the business" and he helped me out HUGE on shopping around for my next lens purchase... And the more Choni is working on his film project the more I think he will probably want to use the Nikon for projects... A new lens wouldn't hurt! Ace said that my camera body and specs are great, I should be getting great results when I put the new lens on ...next year...
I am LOVING the weather...cold. I love cold. Snuggles, soup, hot cocoa, coffee NOT for my morning commute... aaaahhhh... Blankets on the couches... I LOVE blankets... kid snuggles... and when the decorations go up...the soft warm glow of the tree... oh yeah... that's the stuff....
Today is my last work day of November and I start my staycation... Thing 1 asked if I had any time off that overlapped HER time off...so I made some... cause sometimes, you just have to. I hope this allergy/cold thing goes away... Maybe with a little help from my friends Alka Seltzer and Nyquil...
Too bad there's not a way to make people leave comments... I want comments...
I'm Better at Stalking...
I have been keeping up with READING the blogs I follow... reciprocation has been more difficult...
This is what happens to US when the economy tanks and slowly comes back on line...and by slowly, I mean I don't think that there is an instrument that can measure the slowness... THAT's how slow...
I can be so busy I work through lunch one day, and the next day I can be completely dead and begging for work to do... I always have work to do, it's like home...when in doubt, clean. Here it's the same basic principle... You just need to know what and where to clean. Know that, and there will always be something to do. Such is life, eh? Yup, I think so, too.
The past two months have been unreal busy...just as I said. It's amazing, because the time I feel I have the most to say I am unable to say anything because I am sitting here with visions of V-Tech toys dancing through my head... not really... My Christmas shopping is finished. Just two things to pick up when they arrive at the store and I'm DONE. Because Christmas is thin this year.
I can't believe how quick it came up on us, and I say that every year, but I really mean it this year. And I'll really mean it next year, and ten years from now. I swear... I totally swear.. like... totally.
I have the dreaded second birthday coming up of Thing 2...and not just any second birthday, the last second birthday I will throw...so do I throw one? do I do something at home in the backyard? Do I say "Hey Clan, who wants to meet us at (insert pizza place with games here) on such a day at such a time?" and see who shows up? I have NO friggin clue... Not a single damned one... dammit...
So instead of freaking out about it, I'm just gonna leave it alone for now. I have too many things. My weekends are filling up fast and I am increasingly ecstatic about the fact I found the planner I did when I did. Otherwise I'd have post it notes where plans should be and that would be a disaster... mentally more than anything else, but still...It would be there...bahaha...
Everyone's doing really well...Thing 1 is bringing us to a place where just when we think maybe she's not doing as well in school as we once thought, BOOM... nope, we get the great behavior report followed up by the awesome AR testing report and we put those worries to beddy-bye...
Thing 2... Jesus pleezus... She's crazy. I mean it, she's NUTS... she just runs around the house with her little blahblahblah language and talks to you like she's just having herself a conversation you never knew you were in the middle of. Then there's the whole breaking the crib thing...she broke the crib...she is SO not ready for a bed yet, not even a toddler bed...she would be crawling up into Thing 1's bed and head butting her to instigate a playtime at midnight....so we are totally NOT doing this bed training thing yet...that being said, we are need of a new crib. So I have my eye out on one that's atleast half what I paid for this one new...I don't need the mattress, just the crib...it's not safe for her to have it the way it is now and it really freaks me out... no matter how many zip ties or nails or screws you use, there's always that mom gut thing that makes you think, FUCK THIS, I NEED A NEW ONE... and that mom gut is applied to so many things... I don't mess with the mom gut.
Speaking of mom guts, mine is pretty much gone ;) I am down 10 pounds and I have another 10 before I get to where I was before thing 1 was a twinkle in our eyes...another 10 pounds after that and I'll be perfecto...right at the place I need to be period.the end. So that's a nice sentiment. And now my rings fall off....shit.
And to celebrate my awesome personal triumph, I cut my hair off... pixie cuts are huge right now, and no it's never been my way to follow the herd (baaaa n shit) but my hurr... oy vay.
I highlighted it...fine...it was great...fine...I stopped the affordability on it...had to stop...fine...so I did... and then I had bleached ends...meh. I covered them with wash-out brown...fine...worked for a little while but it's still crunchy feeling... meh.
Stop the color, stop the bleach and the crunchy... cut the hair. Done... looks freakin sweet and I can't believe I didn't talk myself into this sooner. As much as I feel that having long hair is something I owe the "bad hair" community, I am sorry all you thin stringy hair'd folk...but long hair thick hair is NOT awesome...Looks great, I'm not denying that fact... but it sucks to have it on your head, on your shoulders and then there's that whole "I Don't Like Things Hanging Off My Body" syndrome... haven't heard of it yet? really? It's new... I have it...with a vengeance.
Until they make a pill for that, I will not have a purse, a child, a scarf, hair, bags, whatnot hanging off my body at anytime. This is why I don't let my kids pull on my person, I carry a backpack not a purse and why if I am carrying bags from the car to the house...of who am I kidding...if I can help it I NEVER CARRY BAGS FROM THE CAR TO THE HOUSE! Carpel tunnel and IDLTHOMB syndrome are why.
<END RANT>
<NEW RANT>
Unless I'm missing some mystical, cosmic, universal message...me n the significant other are awesome fantasticness... Ever have those friends that were like, in marital distress... and people were like, "Oh shit, are they gonna make it?" Yeah, I had those too... friends...family... whoever... Well, we haven't had that. Ever. I just realized that the other day when I recently heard of a split. Knew the couple fairly well... and BOOM... split. It was a surprise to her, too, turns out. Pretty sad when I think of it. Made me think of me n Choners... and I came to that conclusion. I don't know, makes me pretty proud to think of that. I mean, no I don't have a BA in bullshit from FU... but I take pride in my family...my marriage...Which is probably why we are in the 13th year of couple-dom and nearing the 11th anniversary of our engagement, and the 10th anniversary of marriage is next April...
I was thinking that we should do something special and when I mentioned it to the mister and said, We should do something for our anniversary next year (which we NEVER EVER do)" and he nods...and then he thinks...and then he says "Why next year? What's so special about next year?" And when I tell him it'll be TEN whole years...oh the look on his face...so adorable I could have just died....
I still look at that face and see the baby face I met when I was 19... I was 22 (going on 23) when we got married. I know plenty of people who were married younger than that...but ask me how many of them are STILL married?? Go ahead...ASK ME... not much...
Not that I want to turn this into a bragging session, but I'll tell you what...My foot still hurts, I found out I have TMJ and the mouthguard is too expensive to buy right now so I go to bed with Motrin every other night...My allergies have been taking this opportunity of our weird weather to SHIT all over me and make me miserable and the TMJ is now causing tension headaches and tension in my neck and shoulders comes and goes... I am doing little exercises at my desk all day to curb this. My dentist basically told me my teeth are just BAD and if I want to continue eating food that I need to brush and floss after every meal and use a special rinse that helps decrease the dry mouth I have as a direct result of taking antihistamines which I cannot function without.
My point is this... I take the things that are awesome and going RAD and focus on them 100% because there is enough SHIT to balance them out...Trust & believe...It's NOT ALL wine and roses...but when I sit back after doing shit ton of crap work and think about going home to my hunnies... it makes things better... and it makes things better because my mister makes ME better... being a good mom to the kiddos makes me want to be a better person...and then sometimes kids are just assholes... They just are...and I think sometimes what you need to do is realize that, walk away, and pick up somewhere fresh in the morning.. That's what works for us so far!
Yay! Basically, balance. Everything is... balanced... There's good to outweigh the bad and sometimes, the opposite is true. To wrap it up (as if that's at all possible with me) my foot hurts, my jaw hurts, my mouth forever tastes of toothpaste and flavored floss and my husband is all kinds of MAD awesomeness...and I think I'll keep the kids, too. Aloha.
This is what happens to US when the economy tanks and slowly comes back on line...and by slowly, I mean I don't think that there is an instrument that can measure the slowness... THAT's how slow...
I can be so busy I work through lunch one day, and the next day I can be completely dead and begging for work to do... I always have work to do, it's like home...when in doubt, clean. Here it's the same basic principle... You just need to know what and where to clean. Know that, and there will always be something to do. Such is life, eh? Yup, I think so, too.
The past two months have been unreal busy...just as I said. It's amazing, because the time I feel I have the most to say I am unable to say anything because I am sitting here with visions of V-Tech toys dancing through my head... not really... My Christmas shopping is finished. Just two things to pick up when they arrive at the store and I'm DONE. Because Christmas is thin this year.
I can't believe how quick it came up on us, and I say that every year, but I really mean it this year. And I'll really mean it next year, and ten years from now. I swear... I totally swear.. like... totally.
I have the dreaded second birthday coming up of Thing 2...and not just any second birthday, the last second birthday I will throw...so do I throw one? do I do something at home in the backyard? Do I say "Hey Clan, who wants to meet us at (insert pizza place with games here) on such a day at such a time?" and see who shows up? I have NO friggin clue... Not a single damned one... dammit...
So instead of freaking out about it, I'm just gonna leave it alone for now. I have too many things. My weekends are filling up fast and I am increasingly ecstatic about the fact I found the planner I did when I did. Otherwise I'd have post it notes where plans should be and that would be a disaster... mentally more than anything else, but still...It would be there...bahaha...
Everyone's doing really well...Thing 1 is bringing us to a place where just when we think maybe she's not doing as well in school as we once thought, BOOM... nope, we get the great behavior report followed up by the awesome AR testing report and we put those worries to beddy-bye...
Thing 2... Jesus pleezus... She's crazy. I mean it, she's NUTS... she just runs around the house with her little blahblahblah language and talks to you like she's just having herself a conversation you never knew you were in the middle of. Then there's the whole breaking the crib thing...she broke the crib...she is SO not ready for a bed yet, not even a toddler bed...she would be crawling up into Thing 1's bed and head butting her to instigate a playtime at midnight....so we are totally NOT doing this bed training thing yet...that being said, we are need of a new crib. So I have my eye out on one that's atleast half what I paid for this one new...I don't need the mattress, just the crib...it's not safe for her to have it the way it is now and it really freaks me out... no matter how many zip ties or nails or screws you use, there's always that mom gut thing that makes you think, FUCK THIS, I NEED A NEW ONE... and that mom gut is applied to so many things... I don't mess with the mom gut.
Speaking of mom guts, mine is pretty much gone ;) I am down 10 pounds and I have another 10 before I get to where I was before thing 1 was a twinkle in our eyes...another 10 pounds after that and I'll be perfecto...right at the place I need to be period.the end. So that's a nice sentiment. And now my rings fall off....shit.
And to celebrate my awesome personal triumph, I cut my hair off... pixie cuts are huge right now, and no it's never been my way to follow the herd (baaaa n shit) but my hurr... oy vay.
I highlighted it...fine...it was great...fine...I stopped the affordability on it...had to stop...fine...so I did... and then I had bleached ends...meh. I covered them with wash-out brown...fine...worked for a little while but it's still crunchy feeling... meh.
Stop the color, stop the bleach and the crunchy... cut the hair. Done... looks freakin sweet and I can't believe I didn't talk myself into this sooner. As much as I feel that having long hair is something I owe the "bad hair" community, I am sorry all you thin stringy hair'd folk...but long hair thick hair is NOT awesome...Looks great, I'm not denying that fact... but it sucks to have it on your head, on your shoulders and then there's that whole "I Don't Like Things Hanging Off My Body" syndrome... haven't heard of it yet? really? It's new... I have it...with a vengeance.
Until they make a pill for that, I will not have a purse, a child, a scarf, hair, bags, whatnot hanging off my body at anytime. This is why I don't let my kids pull on my person, I carry a backpack not a purse and why if I am carrying bags from the car to the house...of who am I kidding...if I can help it I NEVER CARRY BAGS FROM THE CAR TO THE HOUSE! Carpel tunnel and IDLTHOMB syndrome are why.
<END RANT>
<NEW RANT>
Unless I'm missing some mystical, cosmic, universal message...me n the significant other are awesome fantasticness... Ever have those friends that were like, in marital distress... and people were like, "Oh shit, are they gonna make it?" Yeah, I had those too... friends...family... whoever... Well, we haven't had that. Ever. I just realized that the other day when I recently heard of a split. Knew the couple fairly well... and BOOM... split. It was a surprise to her, too, turns out. Pretty sad when I think of it. Made me think of me n Choners... and I came to that conclusion. I don't know, makes me pretty proud to think of that. I mean, no I don't have a BA in bullshit from FU... but I take pride in my family...my marriage...Which is probably why we are in the 13th year of couple-dom and nearing the 11th anniversary of our engagement, and the 10th anniversary of marriage is next April...
I was thinking that we should do something special and when I mentioned it to the mister and said, We should do something for our anniversary next year (which we NEVER EVER do)" and he nods...and then he thinks...and then he says "Why next year? What's so special about next year?" And when I tell him it'll be TEN whole years...oh the look on his face...so adorable I could have just died....
I still look at that face and see the baby face I met when I was 19... I was 22 (going on 23) when we got married. I know plenty of people who were married younger than that...but ask me how many of them are STILL married?? Go ahead...ASK ME... not much...
Not that I want to turn this into a bragging session, but I'll tell you what...My foot still hurts, I found out I have TMJ and the mouthguard is too expensive to buy right now so I go to bed with Motrin every other night...My allergies have been taking this opportunity of our weird weather to SHIT all over me and make me miserable and the TMJ is now causing tension headaches and tension in my neck and shoulders comes and goes... I am doing little exercises at my desk all day to curb this. My dentist basically told me my teeth are just BAD and if I want to continue eating food that I need to brush and floss after every meal and use a special rinse that helps decrease the dry mouth I have as a direct result of taking antihistamines which I cannot function without.
My point is this... I take the things that are awesome and going RAD and focus on them 100% because there is enough SHIT to balance them out...Trust & believe...It's NOT ALL wine and roses...but when I sit back after doing shit ton of crap work and think about going home to my hunnies... it makes things better... and it makes things better because my mister makes ME better... being a good mom to the kiddos makes me want to be a better person...and then sometimes kids are just assholes... They just are...and I think sometimes what you need to do is realize that, walk away, and pick up somewhere fresh in the morning.. That's what works for us so far!
Yay! Basically, balance. Everything is... balanced... There's good to outweigh the bad and sometimes, the opposite is true. To wrap it up (as if that's at all possible with me) my foot hurts, my jaw hurts, my mouth forever tastes of toothpaste and flavored floss and my husband is all kinds of MAD awesomeness...and I think I'll keep the kids, too. Aloha.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Third One's the Charm!!!
I know most OCD people feel that even numbers are the way to go, but I am Irish...and superstitious is the name of the game. So Threes... we like the Three's... It's all about the Three's...
Fine... well I just wanted to do a random post about our month... We have had a really busy month.
Again, work is picking up, I am no longer able to sit and mull and write and jot down things to write about later. I will probably require more structure if I want to keep doing the blog thing because as much as I want to keep writing in my journal, but wrists are killing at the end of writing anything with pen and paper... this KILLS me you MUST know that... Also, there are things I like to say and get out of my head and put on paper...why? Don't know, but it works... It helps, it really does.
Going day to day is how I'm trying to do it right now, which really is at odds with the planner in me. The planner in me is so strong that I even bought a two and a half year planner over the weekend. It's a Snoopy planner, don't get me wrong...one month per two pages....but still... If I don't write it down I forget. Plain and simple...
My uncle gave me a hutch, and it was my grandma's and now it's mine. It was missing some shelves, so I got glass pieces cut for the shelves, and now I have another hutch and I have space for more stuff... yay!! I got some really cute knickknacks out that I had put away... Amazing... 4 years later and we are still "settling in"... it's so awesome... We have been doing alot of that this month. Moving things around, making room, filling in spaces... So warm and lovely to have everything in it's place...and to put it there together... side by side... I've been a romantical ball of puke lately...not sure what that's about...but it's true... I am living a RAD Nora Roberts style life when it comes to that man.... I'm NOT ashamed to admit it.. Even when I have to clean up toe nail clippings.. I don't care!
I had a very particular idea in mind for the kids for Halloween and as awesome an idea as it was, I don't think we'll be able to pull it off without me sinking a little more attention into it than I want to give. I just want to go get costumes and go home... sometimes simple is just the best way! Choni is growing his hair out... he's been working on some side projects, keeping himself busy. Even though he just got a kick in the ass cause he's really into deciphering his dreams... and they almost always mean something and it's always something incredibly relevant. Unfortunately, his dream told him that nothing will come of any of his side projects...Not sure what that is supposed to mean for him, but I'm thinking that even though they can be "right" they're still wrong. He is doing his side projects just as much to keep himself busy and not feel the need to vacuum an already vacuumed carpet AGAIN... I told him not to get discouraged cause I wanted him to keep going... Maybe they'll pay off later down the road even... Anything that he has for himself that he does is a good accomplishment...and that makes ME happy for him :) Yay!
I am back to doing my nails...they grew out over night it seems and now I guess I have to take care of them, gosh oh gee...whatever will I do?! Give Choni back scratches, for one...
Our now 20 month old is doing all the things that 20 month olds do... some think she should be speaking full sentences... Nah, I'm good...she's fine. She eats everything and anything, so I'm good on the "not talking"... really...
Before we know it I wont' be buying diapers and wipes anymore and I'll $32 a month back into the budget... Before we know it... geesh...
With the fantastic weather change I have been taking my walks at lunch again... It's so refreshing to get out of the office, and even so our stuffy little cave we have been sanctioned off into... Of course, it can always be a little cooler for my walks, but I'm not about to look the gift horse in the mouth... Thank you Fall, thank you so much for showing up when you did! I thought they were going to have to start rolling me into the building! Thankfully my Vegas bff decided to get super skinny and gifted me her old pants...ALL of them... So now, I have new pants! I LOVE hand overs! And now I have an even better reason to stay the same or try to get a little MORE healthy... I LOVE all my new pants!!! And soda... I love soda... so I gotta do my walks.
I SHOULD be doing better anyways. I don't eat ALL my dinner. We are still on a budget, so budget for food too... The average person eats too much at a time anyways, so we have snacks for the kids and they eat their dinner. Daddy's average dinner feeds us all and then there's nothing left. I feed the wee one off my plate and that way I don't overstuff myself.. I use a juice glass to serve myself my dr. pepper out of a 2 liter bottle, no more individual cans for me. Sometimes I need a pick me up at work and I'll get a D.P from the machine... not always... just sometimes... so my consumption has gone down that's for sure... Nothing, short of Diabetes, will change that any time soon.
Oh, Thing 1...Another thing that has kept my brain completely terrified, and preoccupied... She needs SO much dental work... I should have been taking her to a periodontal this whole time and I didn't... and when they told me what all she needed done to her mouth I wanted to crawl into a hole and die... cause a dead me would be better for her than a half assed me...which is what I felt like. Losing teeth is one of those things that does NOT happen at different times, per kid, per case. You lose them at the same time, period. If you're neighbor's kids, and your kid's classmates are all losing teeth, you're kid should be losing them too...that's it... boom, done. So, she has teeth she didn't lose and now her adult teeth are going to come in crooked and we'll be hip deep in braces and dental work for the rest of her adolescence probably... well, I guess as long as I know that now right? yeah, right... she brushes, she flosses..she doesn't drink soda or eat candy... well, she really doesn't... and she's still doomed... awesome.
Been reading a lot of books... Can't believe how many I burned through in the past month... Seriously! I read...6 books...and that's just between here and there, imagine what I could do with TIME on my hands?? I finished a baby blanket, I want to start another and I have some Xmas gifts to get started on... I finally got a handle on the kids room and organizing that mess... YAY!!! I should get the toy net hammock thingies I ordered on Amazon in a few more days and then it's ON... ReOrganize 2013 will be happening! They need new curtains for their room, other than that their room is perfecto.
The hair is going to grow out, I decided this. I am no longer getting hair cuts, they have stopped and I am no longer going in for color. Too 'spensive. I did notice that the toner wore off, so the bleached parts were coming up yellow. I put a washout over it so it toned it down. Worked like a CHARM! So now I just have to grow this mess out. When it's a certain length, I will have some layers pulled through..but it needs to be LOOONG before that happens cause I already know what I want to do with it...it just seems like I seriously owe the people of the world that don't have rad hair... I owe them this, to grow mine out and let my awesome hair flag fly... and it is awesome... it's soft, it's thick, it's Purdy...it's wavy... it can be straight, it can be curly... anything I want it to be really... and it's not turning grey, so I'm gonna sail that ship as long as I can too...
I've been car day dreaming for the next purchase, which I don't anticipate for another three years or so...unless unfortunate events strike, then sooner... but lets NOT go there shall we? Okay? Ok... Well, I DID notice, that since I've been daydreaming, that's when the shit hit the fan on the cars... Not they're in bad shape, now they're in GREAT shape...I still just... meh... it's over now... Let's now dwell...moving on? Okay... That's all really, not much else going on... Just day to day stuff... I love that we have internet now! My honey's imagination stirs much more than it has without it...so that's GREAT! I love it... I can't wait for the holidays and cool weather and pumpkin flavored everything! I already have some days off slated to be with my litto family...The big one asked if I had any days off that matched up with HER days off...aaawww... so fuck it.. I made it happen.. no rhyme or reason, sometimes you just need a week off with your hunny bunnies... Ok, rant is over... I'm done... all is well...
Fine... well I just wanted to do a random post about our month... We have had a really busy month.
Again, work is picking up, I am no longer able to sit and mull and write and jot down things to write about later. I will probably require more structure if I want to keep doing the blog thing because as much as I want to keep writing in my journal, but wrists are killing at the end of writing anything with pen and paper... this KILLS me you MUST know that... Also, there are things I like to say and get out of my head and put on paper...why? Don't know, but it works... It helps, it really does.
Going day to day is how I'm trying to do it right now, which really is at odds with the planner in me. The planner in me is so strong that I even bought a two and a half year planner over the weekend. It's a Snoopy planner, don't get me wrong...one month per two pages....but still... If I don't write it down I forget. Plain and simple...
My uncle gave me a hutch, and it was my grandma's and now it's mine. It was missing some shelves, so I got glass pieces cut for the shelves, and now I have another hutch and I have space for more stuff... yay!! I got some really cute knickknacks out that I had put away... Amazing... 4 years later and we are still "settling in"... it's so awesome... We have been doing alot of that this month. Moving things around, making room, filling in spaces... So warm and lovely to have everything in it's place...and to put it there together... side by side... I've been a romantical ball of puke lately...not sure what that's about...but it's true... I am living a RAD Nora Roberts style life when it comes to that man.... I'm NOT ashamed to admit it.. Even when I have to clean up toe nail clippings.. I don't care!
I had a very particular idea in mind for the kids for Halloween and as awesome an idea as it was, I don't think we'll be able to pull it off without me sinking a little more attention into it than I want to give. I just want to go get costumes and go home... sometimes simple is just the best way! Choni is growing his hair out... he's been working on some side projects, keeping himself busy. Even though he just got a kick in the ass cause he's really into deciphering his dreams... and they almost always mean something and it's always something incredibly relevant. Unfortunately, his dream told him that nothing will come of any of his side projects...Not sure what that is supposed to mean for him, but I'm thinking that even though they can be "right" they're still wrong. He is doing his side projects just as much to keep himself busy and not feel the need to vacuum an already vacuumed carpet AGAIN... I told him not to get discouraged cause I wanted him to keep going... Maybe they'll pay off later down the road even... Anything that he has for himself that he does is a good accomplishment...and that makes ME happy for him :) Yay!
I am back to doing my nails...they grew out over night it seems and now I guess I have to take care of them, gosh oh gee...whatever will I do?! Give Choni back scratches, for one...
Our now 20 month old is doing all the things that 20 month olds do... some think she should be speaking full sentences... Nah, I'm good...she's fine. She eats everything and anything, so I'm good on the "not talking"... really...
Before we know it I wont' be buying diapers and wipes anymore and I'll $32 a month back into the budget... Before we know it... geesh...
With the fantastic weather change I have been taking my walks at lunch again... It's so refreshing to get out of the office, and even so our stuffy little cave we have been sanctioned off into... Of course, it can always be a little cooler for my walks, but I'm not about to look the gift horse in the mouth... Thank you Fall, thank you so much for showing up when you did! I thought they were going to have to start rolling me into the building! Thankfully my Vegas bff decided to get super skinny and gifted me her old pants...ALL of them... So now, I have new pants! I LOVE hand overs! And now I have an even better reason to stay the same or try to get a little MORE healthy... I LOVE all my new pants!!! And soda... I love soda... so I gotta do my walks.
I SHOULD be doing better anyways. I don't eat ALL my dinner. We are still on a budget, so budget for food too... The average person eats too much at a time anyways, so we have snacks for the kids and they eat their dinner. Daddy's average dinner feeds us all and then there's nothing left. I feed the wee one off my plate and that way I don't overstuff myself.. I use a juice glass to serve myself my dr. pepper out of a 2 liter bottle, no more individual cans for me. Sometimes I need a pick me up at work and I'll get a D.P from the machine... not always... just sometimes... so my consumption has gone down that's for sure... Nothing, short of Diabetes, will change that any time soon.
Oh, Thing 1...Another thing that has kept my brain completely terrified, and preoccupied... She needs SO much dental work... I should have been taking her to a periodontal this whole time and I didn't... and when they told me what all she needed done to her mouth I wanted to crawl into a hole and die... cause a dead me would be better for her than a half assed me...which is what I felt like. Losing teeth is one of those things that does NOT happen at different times, per kid, per case. You lose them at the same time, period. If you're neighbor's kids, and your kid's classmates are all losing teeth, you're kid should be losing them too...that's it... boom, done. So, she has teeth she didn't lose and now her adult teeth are going to come in crooked and we'll be hip deep in braces and dental work for the rest of her adolescence probably... well, I guess as long as I know that now right? yeah, right... she brushes, she flosses..she doesn't drink soda or eat candy... well, she really doesn't... and she's still doomed... awesome.
Been reading a lot of books... Can't believe how many I burned through in the past month... Seriously! I read...6 books...and that's just between here and there, imagine what I could do with TIME on my hands?? I finished a baby blanket, I want to start another and I have some Xmas gifts to get started on... I finally got a handle on the kids room and organizing that mess... YAY!!! I should get the toy net hammock thingies I ordered on Amazon in a few more days and then it's ON... ReOrganize 2013 will be happening! They need new curtains for their room, other than that their room is perfecto.
The hair is going to grow out, I decided this. I am no longer getting hair cuts, they have stopped and I am no longer going in for color. Too 'spensive. I did notice that the toner wore off, so the bleached parts were coming up yellow. I put a washout over it so it toned it down. Worked like a CHARM! So now I just have to grow this mess out. When it's a certain length, I will have some layers pulled through..but it needs to be LOOONG before that happens cause I already know what I want to do with it...it just seems like I seriously owe the people of the world that don't have rad hair... I owe them this, to grow mine out and let my awesome hair flag fly... and it is awesome... it's soft, it's thick, it's Purdy...it's wavy... it can be straight, it can be curly... anything I want it to be really... and it's not turning grey, so I'm gonna sail that ship as long as I can too...
I've been car day dreaming for the next purchase, which I don't anticipate for another three years or so...unless unfortunate events strike, then sooner... but lets NOT go there shall we? Okay? Ok... Well, I DID notice, that since I've been daydreaming, that's when the shit hit the fan on the cars... Not they're in bad shape, now they're in GREAT shape...I still just... meh... it's over now... Let's now dwell...moving on? Okay... That's all really, not much else going on... Just day to day stuff... I love that we have internet now! My honey's imagination stirs much more than it has without it...so that's GREAT! I love it... I can't wait for the holidays and cool weather and pumpkin flavored everything! I already have some days off slated to be with my litto family...The big one asked if I had any days off that matched up with HER days off...aaawww... so fuck it.. I made it happen.. no rhyme or reason, sometimes you just need a week off with your hunny bunnies... Ok, rant is over... I'm done... all is well...
Flash Sideways...
For when it's not really a Flash Back and it's certainly NOT a Flash Forward, cause then I'd be psychic... and a lotto winner.
Some things have been creeping around in the backs of brain...the corners of my mind if you will...
I was looking back at a time when we were apartment dwellers...
When we had a psycho land lady...
Mostly due to the "Hi, I'm your house, and now that you are here, I'm going to break on you muhfuckers!!" type stuff that we've had go on this summer.
Nothing we couldn't handle... just a lot of swipe-swipe-monies-gone. Fine...
When I think about what we paid on rent, and what we paid to "fix" the problem(s)... wow... I'm still in the pink... we are still better off...and that's amazing to me. Between Homeowner's insurance, mortgage, PMI all rolled up into one beautiful payment versus what we would be paying for that space in rent... we win... so far... but still. We WIN!!! hehe... I had some serious doubts, some total almost OH my GAWD meltdowns about what had we done? What had we gotten ourselves into? First it was MY fault... cause I did this...cause I was all alone...right? Not really. I have a silent silent partner... who sometimes seems like such a silent partner, you'd think he was second cousin to Harvey The Rabbit... not so...
We made the decision to jump in when the jumping was good...and we'll still come out on top in the end...but the END is so far away... and in the END it won't be US that really truly benefits, it'll be our kids... Our house is their security.. because it's what we can do for them...and in all this "Oh my gawd what did we get ourselves into?" I remembered the who-what-where-when-why it all came about...
and I got sad...
I got a little sad cause we were so happy in our simple lives... one kid... one (and then two) car payment(s).... and then there was carrying groceries up flights of stairs because Choni thought it would be best to go that route with the kid...an upstairs apartment is less likely to get broken into...fine. I see that...
If I could have kept ANY apartment, I would have wanted to keep our first. It was lovely. It was quaint and adorable, and we had fab neighbors... except of course for that ONE neighbor... you know the one...the one neighbor you have that you know their kid's names, not from KNOWING them, but from HEARING the mom SCREAM them across the apartment complex to come home for dinner and of course you know she talks on the phone on her patio at the top of her lungs so everyone can hear about her detest for her ex... awesome, right? Right.
I miss that apartment because it was the first place we lived as a couple, an engaged couple, a married couple, and an expectant couple...that apartment had so many of our firsts... SO many... and I have so little pictures of it...and I have so little tangible memory of it... but every time we pass we tell Thing 1, that's were WE started and she recognizes it...and now SHE says it... "That's it! That's our first place!" I'm going on the technicality of Thing 1 being a zygote but still knowing that was her first home...fine... then her first actual baby outside the belly home was grandma and grandpa's...
So I remember the fun and I have fond memories, but we had some hard times also.
Here's the thing, as far as our relationship goes, me n mister are pretty damned solid especially for today's world. Also there's the whole "Relationships are work". I'm not going to say that relationships are easy, or that if they're good they're easy. They're still work. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. But it's like this:
Relationships are work. They're the kind of work you do at a job that you LOVE. You eat-sleep the job, you can't wait to get there, and you are a little sad when you leave in the afternoon but you are immediately perked back up when you realize that you get to sleep, wake up and do it all over again... aaawwww....
Then there's the bad relationship...The Relation-shit. Relationshits are work at a job you fucking hate and can't wait to get fired or have the balls to quit, but you want to get fired so you can collect unemployment and if you quit, then it's your fault you have no job...and everyone pretty much wants/needs a job right? Right...so Relationshits are jobs where you are sending your resume out on your work email cause you just.don't.give.a.fuck.
...I would like to add I am DAMN proud of that analogy...between my sister and my mom and their dating woes, I have managed to work out this here analogy between relationships and relationshits and how you know which one you're in... DAMN proud of myself... and guess which one I have???
hehehe...
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Flash Sideways... In remembering our past places, places of and in our past, I thought about what it must have looked like on the outside... I thought about our "times" we were having and sometimes I thought, wow, we were having a hard time, or wow, we had a down period... well, here's the thing. We WERE...but it wasn't US. What was happening was happening to US as a unit, not between the two of us. Any true unhappiness I have been apart of since I've been coupled was caused by outside forces... we were always teamed up and ready to go. So we had bummed out periods, but us, WE were good, solid. We were better than okay. But still, not bright and shiney unicorns shitting rainbows kinds of times going on...and we got through it as a unit...then I think of those times and Thing 1...and she was growing and learning during those times...she was eating on her own, she was potty training, she was speaking, thinking, learning.
Now, we have another that is speaking, thinking, learning... Not REALLY speaking, it's that "twin talk" that only we understand...but we hear it. It's there.
I say Flash Sideways because we are remembering what was going on when Thing 1 did the things that Thing 2 does... oh yeah, the apartment, apartment 2 or apartment 1? Well, if Thing 1 was born, obviously 2...oh yeah, I hated that place, the downstairs neighbors, the light in our bedroom window at night while we were TRYING to sleep, the THIS and the THAT...and then I wonder, were we EVER happy there? And then psycho's house... were we EVER happy there? And the wife part, were you unhappy with ME there? So I bring up that Mister was unhappy when we were there...and he says yeah kinda..and we talk and realize...it wasn't with eachother we had these feelings and it was all about the place and the situation not being awesome and how we DID have to try EXTRA hard to enjoy ourselves because it's NOT fun to rent someone else's house or an apartment...
Buyer's remorse? Maybe... but it comes in flashes and spurts like PTSD. (or so I imagine of course, I wouldn't really know, but it's my closest analogy)
Buying the house always trumps NOT having bought the house... I think what's happening is that so much time has passed since apartment 1 and 2 that I can look back now with fonder memories, and that's why this is so new to me. So new to think "wow, we had a good time, why did we buy a house?" but it's all relative...it's time... time passes and we sometimes forget the negative...at least I have been known to do that a time or two. I don't always WANT to remember the bad, especially if I feel like it's not going to do me any good down the road. I definitely believe in guarding yourself. that's a given in life, it's necessary to remember certain things from the past so you don't repeat.
But these flashes seem more like flash sideways to me...because when I remember these things in these places lately, Thing 2 is doing things that Thing 1 did in these past places...and I see the wee one crawl into her booster seat to eat, and I get a flash of the big one doing the same thing at the same place in a different place where we were the same family that loved eacthother the same...just in a different place... See? Sideways... Right now, it doesn't feel like I have to go BACK to remember. It feels like I just have to step to the side...
Like the eye trick, you cover one eye to see one side, and you switch eyes and you see another side. Sometimes I feel like if I cover one eye, I see here and now...and if I switch, I see then and there...
See? Sideways...
Some things have been creeping around in the backs of brain...the corners of my mind if you will...
I was looking back at a time when we were apartment dwellers...
When we had a psycho land lady...
Mostly due to the "Hi, I'm your house, and now that you are here, I'm going to break on you muhfuckers!!" type stuff that we've had go on this summer.
Nothing we couldn't handle... just a lot of swipe-swipe-monies-gone. Fine...
When I think about what we paid on rent, and what we paid to "fix" the problem(s)... wow... I'm still in the pink... we are still better off...and that's amazing to me. Between Homeowner's insurance, mortgage, PMI all rolled up into one beautiful payment versus what we would be paying for that space in rent... we win... so far... but still. We WIN!!! hehe... I had some serious doubts, some total almost OH my GAWD meltdowns about what had we done? What had we gotten ourselves into? First it was MY fault... cause I did this...cause I was all alone...right? Not really. I have a silent silent partner... who sometimes seems like such a silent partner, you'd think he was second cousin to Harvey The Rabbit... not so...
We made the decision to jump in when the jumping was good...and we'll still come out on top in the end...but the END is so far away... and in the END it won't be US that really truly benefits, it'll be our kids... Our house is their security.. because it's what we can do for them...and in all this "Oh my gawd what did we get ourselves into?" I remembered the who-what-where-when-why it all came about...
and I got sad...
I got a little sad cause we were so happy in our simple lives... one kid... one (and then two) car payment(s).... and then there was carrying groceries up flights of stairs because Choni thought it would be best to go that route with the kid...an upstairs apartment is less likely to get broken into...fine. I see that...
If I could have kept ANY apartment, I would have wanted to keep our first. It was lovely. It was quaint and adorable, and we had fab neighbors... except of course for that ONE neighbor... you know the one...the one neighbor you have that you know their kid's names, not from KNOWING them, but from HEARING the mom SCREAM them across the apartment complex to come home for dinner and of course you know she talks on the phone on her patio at the top of her lungs so everyone can hear about her detest for her ex... awesome, right? Right.
I miss that apartment because it was the first place we lived as a couple, an engaged couple, a married couple, and an expectant couple...that apartment had so many of our firsts... SO many... and I have so little pictures of it...and I have so little tangible memory of it... but every time we pass we tell Thing 1, that's were WE started and she recognizes it...and now SHE says it... "That's it! That's our first place!" I'm going on the technicality of Thing 1 being a zygote but still knowing that was her first home...fine... then her first actual baby outside the belly home was grandma and grandpa's...
So I remember the fun and I have fond memories, but we had some hard times also.
Here's the thing, as far as our relationship goes, me n mister are pretty damned solid especially for today's world. Also there's the whole "Relationships are work". I'm not going to say that relationships are easy, or that if they're good they're easy. They're still work. Don't ever let anyone tell you different. But it's like this:
Relationships are work. They're the kind of work you do at a job that you LOVE. You eat-sleep the job, you can't wait to get there, and you are a little sad when you leave in the afternoon but you are immediately perked back up when you realize that you get to sleep, wake up and do it all over again... aaawwww....
Then there's the bad relationship...The Relation-shit. Relationshits are work at a job you fucking hate and can't wait to get fired or have the balls to quit, but you want to get fired so you can collect unemployment and if you quit, then it's your fault you have no job...and everyone pretty much wants/needs a job right? Right...so Relationshits are jobs where you are sending your resume out on your work email cause you just.don't.give.a.fuck.
...I would like to add I am DAMN proud of that analogy...between my sister and my mom and their dating woes, I have managed to work out this here analogy between relationships and relationshits and how you know which one you're in... DAMN proud of myself... and guess which one I have???
hehehe...
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, Flash Sideways... In remembering our past places, places of and in our past, I thought about what it must have looked like on the outside... I thought about our "times" we were having and sometimes I thought, wow, we were having a hard time, or wow, we had a down period... well, here's the thing. We WERE...but it wasn't US. What was happening was happening to US as a unit, not between the two of us. Any true unhappiness I have been apart of since I've been coupled was caused by outside forces... we were always teamed up and ready to go. So we had bummed out periods, but us, WE were good, solid. We were better than okay. But still, not bright and shiney unicorns shitting rainbows kinds of times going on...and we got through it as a unit...then I think of those times and Thing 1...and she was growing and learning during those times...she was eating on her own, she was potty training, she was speaking, thinking, learning.
Now, we have another that is speaking, thinking, learning... Not REALLY speaking, it's that "twin talk" that only we understand...but we hear it. It's there.
I say Flash Sideways because we are remembering what was going on when Thing 1 did the things that Thing 2 does... oh yeah, the apartment, apartment 2 or apartment 1? Well, if Thing 1 was born, obviously 2...oh yeah, I hated that place, the downstairs neighbors, the light in our bedroom window at night while we were TRYING to sleep, the THIS and the THAT...and then I wonder, were we EVER happy there? And then psycho's house... were we EVER happy there? And the wife part, were you unhappy with ME there? So I bring up that Mister was unhappy when we were there...and he says yeah kinda..and we talk and realize...it wasn't with eachother we had these feelings and it was all about the place and the situation not being awesome and how we DID have to try EXTRA hard to enjoy ourselves because it's NOT fun to rent someone else's house or an apartment...
Buyer's remorse? Maybe... but it comes in flashes and spurts like PTSD. (or so I imagine of course, I wouldn't really know, but it's my closest analogy)
Buying the house always trumps NOT having bought the house... I think what's happening is that so much time has passed since apartment 1 and 2 that I can look back now with fonder memories, and that's why this is so new to me. So new to think "wow, we had a good time, why did we buy a house?" but it's all relative...it's time... time passes and we sometimes forget the negative...at least I have been known to do that a time or two. I don't always WANT to remember the bad, especially if I feel like it's not going to do me any good down the road. I definitely believe in guarding yourself. that's a given in life, it's necessary to remember certain things from the past so you don't repeat.
But these flashes seem more like flash sideways to me...because when I remember these things in these places lately, Thing 2 is doing things that Thing 1 did in these past places...and I see the wee one crawl into her booster seat to eat, and I get a flash of the big one doing the same thing at the same place in a different place where we were the same family that loved eacthother the same...just in a different place... See? Sideways... Right now, it doesn't feel like I have to go BACK to remember. It feels like I just have to step to the side...
Like the eye trick, you cover one eye to see one side, and you switch eyes and you see another side. Sometimes I feel like if I cover one eye, I see here and now...and if I switch, I see then and there...
See? Sideways...
...Locking Up Single Parent Summer...
I have been "off" for over a month... not gonna say sorry...just gonna say... I hate being right...
Or if you prefer another bumper sticker... I told you so, with a side of tongue sticking out and fingers in the ears...
But I digress...
Here we are, knee deep in third grade awesomeness, getting the hang of homework and awesomeness of third graders everywhere... Thing 2 wishes she was BIG... like Tom Hanks 'n shit... but alas... you are not... you are wee... you are in between 18months and 24 months in a land I like to call "They don't make clothes for you so you have to trip or be trapped". The holidays... JESUS... Already saying "The Holidays?" STFU Holidays!!!
I have NOT heard a Christmas song ANYWHERE yet...and I am enjoying that.
I actually LIKE Christmas songs...so I'm not even going to go there...
Single Parent Summer: over... done.. the book is read... closed, shelved until next year...
Gone is the paycheck that came with it and we are back on lock down.
Gone are the bustling HAWT days of frustration from sweat pouring down my burning red face, glasses falling off as I put The Things in the car for a ride to wherever, having to remember, "Let's leave before --- so we don't get stuck in the car in the heat, and lets go home AFTER dark..."
...and gone is the freedom of no homework...there is so much GROWN UP going on in the fall, winter and spring months... It'salmost overwhelming.... It's responsibility at it's finest...it's grown up. It's Mom and Dad and Kids...
...Gone are the quickie meals of Del Taco quesadillas and bean burritos and French fries.
...Gone is the excuse to get away with the aforementioned quickie meals...
And it couldn't come at a better time! It's been a particularly trying summer. There have been a lot of financial responsibilities to handle, much more than usual... the savings we saved from the tax return are GONE... the savings I have saved since the first of the year when I wrote my budget are pretty much gone too...I am saving less even cause I am RESPONSIBLE and went with the 401k...I might even just up the bitch so I can hold onto SOME of our money... BUT... I digress...
The financial setbacks we came across were due to the unexpected things that come with owning a home and having cars that are NOT new, but still, with the repairs and things needed on both, it's still less than HALF what we would have spent on car payments, insurance and registration on new vehicles... so we are still WINNING! I have a few bucks on top of last years goal...so we're good. Plus, I got to a point this year where I'm like, Fuck it. You can't take it with you. I have a savings. I was able to write checks and swipe the card when some people would be hocking furniture... so I'm not gonna complain. I'm go home and be happy...after my nervous breakdown.
Next summer, I can't wait. If The Things come along as they atleast SHOULD... it should be stellarly better than this summer... yeah, stellarly, don't look it up, it's MY word and it doesn't exist but in my head.
I am already eagerly anticipating cooking dinner for the four of us, putting daddy's in a lovely container for when he gets home from the game, rinse, repeat.
I was not able to do that this past summer. I had THAT kid...the one that takes a village to raise.. Yeah, that one. and I don't have a village... my village is too far... so we make do...so one summer, out of The Thing's lives, we cheated... and it was fun...
Next summer... no cheating... It more than likely will not be necessary and I am already looking forward to it. Meanwhile, hello FALL! I missed you! Take off your coat and stay awhile! No really, take off your damn coat cause it's effing hot outside still.
I must say it has definitely leveled off and I can't wait to put my floor fan away for the season! It's happening sooner than later. I still have a month or two before I will need to replace my furnace filter and I even had a lower SCE bill than I budgeted for according my last year's budget. Thanks for coming in under a lot of my budget, I was actually able to put a chunk of money away and still leave room for all the bills I have slated to pay with this check AND Thing 1's dental work.... SO MUCH dental work.. I feel so horrible.
My mouth is awful, my mister's mouth is AWFUL... so I had to know that our damn kids would have horribly yucky mouths... poor babes... all I can do is harp on them to brush their teeth and take them in for check ups when I'm supposed to... doesn't make it any less painful to watch... So this is basically a rant... a ramble... about how summer is over, fall is beginning with awesome weather we usually don't see until October is almost over and we scoped out a rad place that we might be able to go apple picking at before the season is over...this is very exciting to me.
We have been here 4 years, and we finally explored! I don't like to explore alone, and I don't' count Choni...so we don't' like to explore alone as it were... so we dragged Ma, my sis's and their entourages out to the middle of nowhere, a mile high...and BOOM... it was like a different state! Definitely not what people think when they think "California" but Ma's worldly beau said the sage brush was a dead giveaway... cause he's a smart dude like that and that's why we like him!
With more time at home and more time to do his extra curricular activities, I have noticed my Mister is a slightly happier Mister. I say slightly cause he was already happy and it's hard to improve on perfection :) Don't get me wrong he can be a pain in the ass sometimes...but it's one of those things where it doesn't bug me cause I would miss it in a heart beat if I didn't have it anymore...aawwww....
I think that wraps it up...
Or if you prefer another bumper sticker... I told you so, with a side of tongue sticking out and fingers in the ears...
But I digress...
Here we are, knee deep in third grade awesomeness, getting the hang of homework and awesomeness of third graders everywhere... Thing 2 wishes she was BIG... like Tom Hanks 'n shit... but alas... you are not... you are wee... you are in between 18months and 24 months in a land I like to call "They don't make clothes for you so you have to trip or be trapped". The holidays... JESUS... Already saying "The Holidays?" STFU Holidays!!!
I have NOT heard a Christmas song ANYWHERE yet...and I am enjoying that.
I actually LIKE Christmas songs...so I'm not even going to go there...
Single Parent Summer: over... done.. the book is read... closed, shelved until next year...
Gone is the paycheck that came with it and we are back on lock down.
Gone are the bustling HAWT days of frustration from sweat pouring down my burning red face, glasses falling off as I put The Things in the car for a ride to wherever, having to remember, "Let's leave before --- so we don't get stuck in the car in the heat, and lets go home AFTER dark..."
...and gone is the freedom of no homework...there is so much GROWN UP going on in the fall, winter and spring months... It's
...Gone are the quickie meals of Del Taco quesadillas and bean burritos and French fries.
...Gone is the excuse to get away with the aforementioned quickie meals...
And it couldn't come at a better time! It's been a particularly trying summer. There have been a lot of financial responsibilities to handle, much more than usual... the savings we saved from the tax return are GONE... the savings I have saved since the first of the year when I wrote my budget are pretty much gone too...I am saving less even cause I am RESPONSIBLE and went with the 401k...I might even just up the bitch so I can hold onto SOME of our money... BUT... I digress...
The financial setbacks we came across were due to the unexpected things that come with owning a home and having cars that are NOT new, but still, with the repairs and things needed on both, it's still less than HALF what we would have spent on car payments, insurance and registration on new vehicles... so we are still WINNING! I have a few bucks on top of last years goal...so we're good. Plus, I got to a point this year where I'm like, Fuck it. You can't take it with you. I have a savings. I was able to write checks and swipe the card when some people would be hocking furniture... so I'm not gonna complain. I'm go home and be happy...after my nervous breakdown.
Next summer, I can't wait. If The Things come along as they atleast SHOULD... it should be stellarly better than this summer... yeah, stellarly, don't look it up, it's MY word and it doesn't exist but in my head.
I am already eagerly anticipating cooking dinner for the four of us, putting daddy's in a lovely container for when he gets home from the game, rinse, repeat.
I was not able to do that this past summer. I had THAT kid...the one that takes a village to raise.. Yeah, that one. and I don't have a village... my village is too far... so we make do...so one summer, out of The Thing's lives, we cheated... and it was fun...
Next summer... no cheating... It more than likely will not be necessary and I am already looking forward to it. Meanwhile, hello FALL! I missed you! Take off your coat and stay awhile! No really, take off your damn coat cause it's effing hot outside still.
I must say it has definitely leveled off and I can't wait to put my floor fan away for the season! It's happening sooner than later. I still have a month or two before I will need to replace my furnace filter and I even had a lower SCE bill than I budgeted for according my last year's budget. Thanks for coming in under a lot of my budget, I was actually able to put a chunk of money away and still leave room for all the bills I have slated to pay with this check AND Thing 1's dental work.... SO MUCH dental work.. I feel so horrible.
My mouth is awful, my mister's mouth is AWFUL... so I had to know that our damn kids would have horribly yucky mouths... poor babes... all I can do is harp on them to brush their teeth and take them in for check ups when I'm supposed to... doesn't make it any less painful to watch... So this is basically a rant... a ramble... about how summer is over, fall is beginning with awesome weather we usually don't see until October is almost over and we scoped out a rad place that we might be able to go apple picking at before the season is over...this is very exciting to me.
We have been here 4 years, and we finally explored! I don't like to explore alone, and I don't' count Choni...so we don't' like to explore alone as it were... so we dragged Ma, my sis's and their entourages out to the middle of nowhere, a mile high...and BOOM... it was like a different state! Definitely not what people think when they think "California" but Ma's worldly beau said the sage brush was a dead giveaway... cause he's a smart dude like that and that's why we like him!
With more time at home and more time to do his extra curricular activities, I have noticed my Mister is a slightly happier Mister. I say slightly cause he was already happy and it's hard to improve on perfection :) Don't get me wrong he can be a pain in the ass sometimes...but it's one of those things where it doesn't bug me cause I would miss it in a heart beat if I didn't have it anymore...aawwww....
I think that wraps it up...
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