Throwback Thursday: This Time 13 Years Ago...

Not a very exciting story, and I wish I had thought of it sooner so I could include the ONE picture that encapsulates the moment, a blurry early selfie of me and Choni on my couch.  I can always add it later.. if I do you'll find right here>>

In the meantime:  This time 13 years ago, I was undergoing the recoop process from the late teen/early 20's right of passage that is having your wisdom teeth removed.  I was living at "home" (I say loosely due to the fact it was merely a house my mother and ESM lived in, NOT my quote 'Home').  I had self inflicted red hair, disheveled and rightfully so.  Bruised, swollen face is a look I do not recommend for anybody and I don't think we had started back to college just yet because Choni was over all the time.

Quick back story: We did not live close to eachother.  He lived four towns/cities away, a good solid 30 to 40 minutes in traffic away from me.  Part of the drive was just tedious, boring country roads.  Also, it took 5 minutes to drive the few feet on our road that was only a road in the technical sense that it "TECHNICALLY" got you to where you were going...but mostly just fucked up your car because of all the dips and holes and dirt...

For this guy to do all that everyday for a week for me ( I think there was a work day or two in there) was amazing...  He worked at a little Korean dude owned video store then, so he brought over TONS of movies.  In my Vicodin daze, I remember mostly one title in particular that he scooped up from his store of ancient B movie titles, "Ice Pirates"...  Oh yeah, that was GREAT stuff when I was a kid and it reminded me of my dad (who at the time was merely two states/one 1 hr and 30 min flight away) so I was stoked that, again, he pulled a gem out for me.

Ma was home taking care of Lil Sis at that time, so she was there, but she was busy doing the toddler two step so it was helpful having Choni there.  I had my pillow, my blanket, my jammies, my bathrobe (it was winter, it gets cold even in SoCal), my Choni... I was the most comfortable a person could be in that situation...  Luckily I was dazed enough and wasn't eating solids, so I was not expected to dine with the ESM and Ma during those days... Aaaahhhh....

I lived solely on Instant Breakfast Shakes, I wasn't complaining...not at all... Those spoonfuls of vitaminy chocolate were wonderful... Funny, most people wouldn't have FOND memories of such a week, but I do... I have them because Choni made them better.  Not to say he didn't do his foot work, boy did he... but in those it wasn't too hard to trump what was going on at home... anything positive was a vast improvement.  It was great/is great to be around a person that I don't have to TRY SO HARD to make happy... it's organic, it just happens... he just makes me happy... Sometimes I want to swat him and sometimes I do because you gotta keep them on their toes, but I look back on the life I walked away from and for a second I think, "Geez, what did I do?" and after a thought or two it quickly turns into "OH YEAH!!!  Made the better choice!!"  Haha...

So that's my wisdom teeth story... I wonder if I'll find that picture...

Type, Type... Erase... Type... Erase...

Trying not to be the Billionth person to talk about it...

That's my response to Boston so far...

To sit at my desk and see madness down a street I have walked... down a corner I have turned...  driven down... albeit in the back seat but still...  And be utterly helpless...  To sit here and try to find the words... the collective, coherent thought to take that in and not go completely mad...  We are not an old country, but for our immediate purposes, Boston is our version of an ancient city...

Excuse me while I go in the Way Back Machine to that fateful Tuesday Morning in 2001 when I saw something else happen in a spot I have walked in, sat down on a bench and looked up at those immense buildings and have a feeling I was in the presence of greatness and world power... apparently I wasn't the only person that knew that...

I feel the same way about Boston...I felt the same way yesterday...  Of course there is the "Why? What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!"  Ok, someone is making a point...  but really?  That's how you make your point?  Fuckin pussies...  sorry.. but they are...  I can't stomach acts of violence.  I REALLY CAN"T STOMACH FACELESS ACTS OF VIOLENCE!!!  MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN YOU COWARDS!!  So we can catch you and bring you the justice you deserve.  Actually, we don't Constitutionally ALLOW the kind of justice these people would truly deserve, but anyways... I believe in Capitol Punishment, so sue me.  I'll never commit a crime that would deem me deserved as such, so I don't care if they euthanize people.  I REALLY REALLY don't.

A question I brought to myself: do I tell Thing 1?  We don't watch the news per se.  We don't sit and watch it together as a family... I watch it...  I choose to.  It's MY choice.  I know my children should grow up to be learned adults...but I'm choosing not to start it now.  If Harley comes home from school and asks me about something her teacher brought up we will talk about it...but I'm not going to sit her down and tell her about everything that happens and then attempt to possibly counter that with something good so that she doesn't give up hope in humans so early.  I would literally spend ALL day talking to her if that were the case. 

Meh... super miffed.. super sad... and super effing miffed...

I had nothing fresh or knew to think I was so stunned...appalled.  So I dug down into my 'serves.

September 11th, I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know if the country would feel a sense of comraderie that would bring us all to not go to school, to not work.  I just dared to go on my day and see what everyone else thought.  I didn't feel like, as a Californian, I should feel a sense of entitlement that allowed that horror to affect me directly, not sure yet if would in anyway, just that sight of those awesome buildings falling...  I got my other sock on, put on my shoes and drove to school...  I wasn't the only College student unsure.  Doors had signs on them of class cancellations... I made it INTO my class and my professor was explaining how she was going home and she bade us do the same...so I walked out with everyone else.  And I remembering seeing a Marine Reservist shaking his head...he just got done with his requirements and he pretty much knew then...he'd be going over somewhere...
I saw my husband by my car... He was writing me a note (no cell phones) and he grabbed the paper off my windshield and ran up and hugged me and we talked a minute... all of our classes were cancelled... did I still go to work?  did I still dare to pretend nothing happened??  Even the radio was rife with discussion...  I went home... waited for work to begin.  He came with me to my house for a bit and went on to work himself.  He said it was DEAD at his video store.  Mine wasn't DEAD.  But my manager, Stina, was on board with keeping a low profile that night and we turned all the TV's at my store and sat on the counter and watched...  The patrons didn't mind.  There were 5...all night. And one I will never forget.  Not ever.

A homely woman comes in after there is already a man with his son in the Sci-Fi section mulling over which Alien movie to rent... there are so many choices!

Woman is unhappy...  She grunts upon her entry and exasperates at the wall O' Tv's...  Uhm... Okaaaay....

I look at Stina, she is sitting on the counter watching... I follow my manager's lead and only get up when someone approaches attempting some miniscule amount of professionalism, but they don't care about that... they are all glued to the news.

I am helping man and son with their rental and woman comes up, Stina jumps off the counter and helps her.  She leans over towards Stina...  reading her Manager status on her glorious Employee Badge... 

"Oh, so I guess putting this on was your idea?"  Woman says.

Stina:  "Uh yea...  your total is..."

Woman: "Ugh, hopefully these are good enough to replace what's on... I can't believe SURVIVOR ISN'T ON TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THIS!!" (waving her hands at the TV's)

Stina:  "Your movies are due back ____....And I suggest that you go home and hug your kids because obvoiously there are WORSE THINGS GOING ON THAN MISSING SURVIVOR!!  Have a nice day." 

Stina... my hero that night... I will never forget that...  Not ever...

My immediate response to yesterday; I gave my kids a giant hug and we stayed in and hung out until bedtime... then I did my laundry and I relished in the things I was able to do because you just never know when you won't be able to do them again... 

6 degrees of Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band...

That's right...I wrote that...  There is a musical group called Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band and my mom LOVED them... she had the record, the tape, the record recorded ONTO a tape...  And that's what we had in our house as a child...amongst MANY other musical groups and ecclectic collections of records and tapes.  Yay us.  Well, I just had to say that I can pin point when I knew that I was going to LOVE Antonio's parents..  I already told you our story.  Okay Fine.  Well, there are things in life that make things click...So many things made us click.  And I was so scared after all of the "getting to know you" part was basically over and we were totally in love, gourmet cheese style, I still had to meet his parents. 

Know this: NO boyfriend's parents had EVER liked me.

Not EVER...

The closest I had come in my life was a friend, that was a boy, had a mom that wanted me to date her son so she could call me the daughter she never had.  I was 11 then... that doesn't count.  I didn't date her son...  so it REALLY doesn't count.  Maybe it was the brazenness of my dress?  You think?  XL surf shirts and baggy jeans...oh yeah, call me Jezebel!

Anyhoot...I had already heard the horror stories about Antonio's parents giving girlfriends past the cold shoulder (for very good reason it turns out) but who was I to be considered any better at this early point in our relationship?  It's winter/spring in the I.E., that means torrents of rain and my poor honey drove a Ford POS that we referred to as the Snot Rocket (it was green ya'll) and the Rocket was out of commission.  I didn't have my car because I was transitioning from my first car to my next car and I had to get a ride from my ex steppie... bummer...  He said he'd give me a ride home, SWEET!  But he had his dad's car and he almost jumped off the cliff about it.  I thought, how bad could it be?  Geo Metro bad...haha!  If you've never been in one, they're nothing to scoff at...I couldn't believe the leg room in this thing!  It was amazing!  It could have been make out city..but it was his DAD'S car...ew.  We get out on the road and head to Temecula with a quick stop at J.Box...CHILI CHEESE CURLY FRIES!!  Ahem...they need to bring those back...Just sayin... 

I'm nosey by nature, I can't help it.  I'm observant to the point of sneakery and I don't care who knows it.  I was looking all over the car checking stuff out and came across the CD case under the seat.  You can tell a whole lot about people from the music they listen to.  Music is like soul candy, or atleast it is to me.  So I'm thinking, I can get a leg up on these people, have something to talk about.. The Clash, The Police, Andre Boccelli, DiVinyls, The Best of Simon and Garfunkel, Al Green, Earth, Wind and Fire... it's looking pretty damn decent.  Until I come across the I Ching...  Something I hadn't seen in years because my mom had lost her last tape and we got her the CD when we lived in El Toro, but what happened? Got lost in the move...I just about cried...  I really really did... 

THAT moment, right there...before holding a full conversation with them, I knew it was going to be alright.  I knew they would be awesome, they would everything that everyone should have in in-laws...and yes people, I knew they would be in-laws then...  I truly did...Gourmet Cheese is served.

I think of Dr. Buzzard and I can SMELL my mom's Clinique perfume the memories are that strong.  Sitting in that car for the first time ever and I was immediately comforted...I was always comfortable around Antonio since day one...  that was just another link in the chain my friend...  Just another link...and it only got longer and stronger from there....

and now I want chili fries...

♫♪At Laaaaast...♫♪♫

Today is a very important day in my life :) 

     8 years ago today, I married the love of my life.  Me...the cynical one.  I used to give people very generous amounts of shit about love at first site (can you tell my parents were divorced?) and how it's not possible. 
Yet...I can tell you all about the first day of the rest of my life... 

     I had just enrolled at Mt. San Jacinto College and was new to the area.  I had too many ill fated blind dates to count and first dates that never turned into second dates.  I was working part time at corporate gluttonous video franchise (a.k.a Blockbuster Video) and I decided I wanted to get out of here!  After being promised one thing, and delivered another... I found myself at the 2 year college about to embark on my new journey...  it was August 2000.  One year out of High School and already forgot half the names of those blue gowned morons...  I had Math Mondays and Wednesdays, English and Film Tuesdays and Thursdays and History on Fridays.  It was a fantastic Tuesday.  There was a two and a half hour gap between my English and Film classes and against my better judgement I would go to Target and Jack in the Box.  Then back to the little mini quad in front of the theater where the film class was held.  We walk into the first class like so many mooing cattle and take our seats.  I sat behind a very nice smelling individual and start to play my game to myself "Who in THIS class would I date if they asked me out?"...  Mr. Davis calls out the familiar phrase from teachers all my life "Please let me know if you prefer to be called something other than what I have on my roll sheet as we go along, thank you" and he goes down the list...  we're to the M's and I'm not impressed with this selection brought forth...  Math was incredibly not promising and English was mostly older women and incredibly immature boys.  Film class seemed like it would be a new frontier right?  Nope, not until we got to the N's... 

     I hear Mr. Davis say the name on the roster and as I'm leaned over into my over flowing backpack, up pops the nice smelling one infront of me and stands there in the middle of the theater, making a runway-esque circle in place and informs Mr. Davis and a booming voice with a mischievious smile "Call me Antonio!"...  and with a smirk, he sits down...but not before shooting a glance my way...and there it started...  I started to get to that mini quad earlier before the class started and there he would be.
Sitting on the brick planter with his sketchbook out, tongue in cheek, dressed very nicely, smelling good!  And keeping to himself.  At first I thought, oh no...he's too good looking, too good smelling.  Hair is too nice...  I honestly thought for a second that maybe girls weren't his thing.  I had yet to come across a guy this kempt.  But no, I noticed him glancing my general direction. And me being me, I always thought it was because he had never seen a thing so hideous before in his life. 

     Oh no, he was looking I came to find out later.  We started the small talk chit chat and soon I was getting there earlier and earlier...and I thought it odd that a guy who girls seemed to flock to (and they did) would be sitting in one spot so long before this class started.  So I asked if he had an earlier class and he did. Jogging.  Okay, that's...cool?  So, we talk every Tuesday and Thursday before class and pretty soon I find myself BOLTING out of English Lit towards the mini quad to get THAT much more time in. 
One day, it's announced...we will be touring Warner Brothers Studios!!!  The good smelling one turns around immediately!  "Shotgun in your car!!" as we would not be taking a school funded bus ride.  He had seen me in my car by then... a brown 1977 Impala that I lovingly referred to as Max :)  My first car...  I thought he was kidding...  so I shrugged it off and my new friend Anna Banana and I went off in our own world again.

     Day of the field trip, two weeks before our final, he shows up...with a girl in his car... WTF???  I thought he had some balls to bring another chick along with us!  I mean, the good old fashioned rudeness was there, and then the fact that I started to really like him was making it worse.  He rolls up with this little blondey and the first thing comes out of my mouth "I only have enough seatbelts for me you and Anna"....  along with the dirtiest look I think I have ever shot.

     "Oh no, I'm just dropping her off"... wow, quick defense... must be true.  We spent the whole way up small talking with Anna Banana...  She fell asleep in the car all the way down and that's when we got to know eachother...

     It was perfect...he was so perfect for me... I was so steeped in past treachery that I didn't even catch the pick up that he wanted to go out that night after we returned to school, but I was beat and I could feel a sinus attack from being in LA all day coming on...so I said I was going home and going to bed... lame...
Two weeks later, our final.  I take tests quickly and was done when he was only halfway through...so I turned back, saw his progress (or lack thereof) and started to doodle on the back of my test...  mid doodle I saw him getting up and I got myself up and turned in my test right behind him.  We get outside and as I am mid open mouth, about to say something, girls flock like a moth to goddman flame!  No joke, I swear this is 100% accurate portrayal...  I meet his eyes and he sees me walk toward my car...I start walking faster when I hear bounding footsteps behind me.  I walk a little faster...a little faster, I'm making him chase me :)  I watch too many movies...Anyhoo, we talk by my car for about 1 hour...then we get food... he sees I like to eat...he's enticed... He offers up a movie watching night and I agree... He offers up the Grinch movie, showing his listening skills that I had mentioned I wanted to see it months before... keeper!  We see the Grinch, we go dutch cause I don't know if it's a date or not.  We part ways  :(  That was the last day of film class!  The next day I am depressed as all hell not knowing how to get ahold of this guy and I see him walking towards the Arts building as I am walking away from my history final...  what were the chances???  He was just dropping off his art final so he had the rest of the morning to himself :)  I was going to Target to get my sister a pan for Christmas for her new place and he came with me!  My mom was so dialed in to my boring life thus far that she was beeping me (yes beeping) and he thought for a split second "Dear God what did I just step into this girl is on a leash" but not, Ma just knew my schedule so well it was odd not to be home.  We exchanged pieces of art...mine a script I wrote and his a movie he made, I wrote my number in HUGE red letters and even drew a heartlike circle around it...no phone call.  He grew up near where I grew up and he said if I ever went back let him know and we'll go together...well, I was looking for an excuse to visit, so I called him that Monday after I spent all weekend going over it with my friend and sister.  No call back until Tuesday evening.  His dad gave him the message just as he was walking out the door to work.  He was late to work to call me back!!  Hah!!  We went on our excursion on Wednesday morning and by Wednesday evening we were a couple.  Not just dating, we were together.  I knew it, if he had said "Let's go to Vegas and make it official" that night, I would have gone. 

So that's the long boring story...there are more things we have that make it so we were really meant to be together, but I'll bore ya'll with that later!!!   Our first date was in fact the Grinch... Dec. 14th 2000...  We got engaged Dec. 7th 2002 and our wedding day was 8 years ago today!  And it turns out...white is not our color ;)