365 days ago....

...I went from this...

To this....

and now there's...



It's funny to me....I chuckle about it on a daily basis...how much of that day is a blur and how much of it is like I was watching it on TV and how much of it I remember like it was yesterday...or five minutes ago...

I am constantly learning and soaking in information in this classroom called "Life 101" and I have learned a lot.  I learned that setting yourself up for disappointment is dumb... It really is.  I mean, try for what you want and all...but when all you hear from some people is how things didn't go their way...maybe you're shooting a little too high honey... Knock it off...  I don't shoot at all, so I'm always pleasantly surprised with the outcomes of certain situations and that's what works for me :)  I am a very organized person, I won't lie...  But when I realized that I wasn't going to have the same experience as I did with Thing 1, did I freak the hell out?  No...did I start yelling at people and freaking on them, preventing them from doing the best job possible? No...  I rolled...  that's what I do...that's why I married my fantastic husband... because he rolls with it too...  Now I can happily say that I had the best experience possible because I went in with no expectations... because really, it's all in His hands anyways, right?  Or the Universe's hands if that's your thing.

I had that baby in just over an hour.  I experienced the water breaking...  I experienced one full hour of back to back contractions that gave absolutely NO breaks in between...  constant pain...  two pushes and BOOM!!  And it's BIZARRE to me that once that baby's out it's done... pain gone.  Next on the agenda...

We had a GREAT nurse staff, my doctor made it just in time to catch her and she was, as always, awesome to have in the room...  I am a big believer in doctors, especially when I'm being told I'm "High Risk"...  But I think I like them anyways... Let me rephrase that.  I like MY doctor.  I love her so much that even if I had a regular pregnancy I probably would have had the girls in the hospital anyways cause my relationship with my OB was so RAD!  And we grew up in the same freaking town! 

So that was what happened exactly 365 days ago to the minute...  She was born at 4:10pm and we've LOVED her every minute of every day ever since :)

The Girls

Dream Casting: CLUE

Here is the Dream Cast of "Clue" in the Judd Apatow Universe:

Professor Plum: Jason Segel

Col. Mustard:   Steve Carrell

Mr. Body:       James Franco

Mrs. Peacock:   Jane Lynch

Ms. Scarlet:    Elizabeth Banks

The Cook:       Jonah Hill

Cop:            Craig Robinson

Wadsworth:      Russell Brand

Yvetter:        Kristen Bell

FBI Agent/
Religious Guy:  Michael McKean

Telegram Girl:  Kat Dennings

The Motorist:   Danny McBride

You are welcome!!

Come On In! The Water's Fine!!!!

As the caretaker of the pool of my life...I am happy to say the pH level is perfectly balanced...

There is a black hole that is created in the universe around a certain time of year every year... something about the timing of birthday after birthday in the summer, school starting, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the K.O being Christmas and New Year's one whole week away from each other...  Just writing that exhausts me...

PLUS:  We have had the added bonus of a fourth wheel to complete our caravan of crazy so it may mozy down the road of the rest of our lives...  Marysuwho a.k.a The Terrible Teether.  Our kids are 99% awesome.  Harley's 1% is her eating habits.  She eats like a bird... I have a hard time shoving nutrition down her throat without her gagging it up.  Marysu...  teething.  She didn't sleep all night from an early age like her big sis...because she started teething earlier and actually produced teeth insanely early!  Teeth didn't even occur to us but about a million other ailments did... Harley teethed, I guess...  I mean she HAS teeth, so obviously they came in right?  Nobody really took notice.. They just showed up one day.  This one, it affects her eating habits and she gets the horrifically watery diarrhea... and sleeplessness...  very little sleeping...lots of tossing and turning and discomfort.  But now that she went through the big long stretch and has 8 teeth it's a once in a while type of thing and she has one night... not NIGHTS... no plurals...

And now that you've been disgusted by mom life... :)

I move on to the rest... the rest is good.  I am extremely happy to be boring right now.  We've done the exciting thing... I got a new planner at the first of the year realizing, " Holy Crap! It's New Year's Day and I have nothing new to write all of the ... nothing?  Nothing????  Really?!?!  No new stuff?!"  I was appalled... I looked in January of my 2012 planner.  If I hadn't known better I would have sworn I just got bored and scribbled on every single day, but that was not the case.  There were more days with "stuff" on them than not.

How does that happen?  It's a blur, truly, so don't ask me.. I'm the worst source... But Choners, he remembers it like it was yesterday... He does that... reason #153 why I loves him so's muches...

I'm NOT about to sit here and "catch up" with what has gone on since October... I doubt very many read this that don't know me... I'm not about to bore anyone to death.  I already have all those other bodies I buried to worry bout, no sense adding to my conscience... heh...

We are planning the big 1st birthday... the ever saddening truth revealing itself that it is more than likely the LAST 1st birthday.  So we're doing it up the way we want and it's gonna be a badass good ole family time...  I can't wait.  I am dying to see the family.  It's been far too long! 

I went to Target on my lunch, again... cause I needed an excuse to get out of the office and check out the $2.50 rugs they have...and everyone needs a rug covered in shamrocks...just sayin.

So my awesome other half and I have this awesome game of awesomeness...  Dream Casting... Take a movie, usually a cult classic type of film...and recast it with the "If you could get ANYONE now to play those roles who would it be"  I think I am going to start a new series of blogs called "Dream Cast: blahblahblah"  I think after I finish this half-assed attempt to play catch up and make myself feel better, I will start it...

That being said... Yeah there's really nothing else going on with this end.  Now that we are coming up on the one year mark, I am having some self realizations that I had when Harley was a year old.  There are changes that occur when you add children to your life.  I guess it's the amount of things that you realize you don't do or do differently and HOW much that bothers you is the real question.  With us, we realize there are things we do differently, but it's the business of birthing childrens...  We accept it so easily and it's not that we MISS these things... it's just different now...and then there's the REST of our lives to get it back. 

Like painting.  I love painting.  It's not some passion, like, I'm NOT the Laird Hamilton of painting.  I'm not winning pro-ams and I certainly don't get depressed when I can't paint and boo hoo... I am biding my time because I see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I just can't paint right now.  And not that I "CAN'T" either, I could, but I choose not too because I would rather avoid the possible frustration that I could be met with trying the double duty of toddler and paint...I will though.  I painted when Harley was little.  Nap times are MAGICAL! And same as sleeping time.  Kids go to sleep earlier than us because we need some alone time to discuss the day and have our moment.  Even when our moment is met over a load of laundry on a neatly made bed.  Often, that is when Daddy hits the exer-bike and I take a shower.  One day, I won't want to take a shower.  I will want to paint.  But right now, like, right right now... I want to sit on the couch and watch my girls play with their Christmas Little People... 

Those moments last only so long.  One day, I'm going to sit and listen to them bitch about how "she's got her SHIT ON MY BED!!!  YOU'RE A SLOB" and I'm not completely deluded into thinking that they're going to be angels to each other all the time like they are now.  So I want to soak it all in now...  have nice, long, crisp memories to hold onto... That way, I can have a nice doped look on my face when they try to get me on one of their sides and have to snap their fingers to get me to come to...at which time I will say, "Uhm, yeah... it's not my problem, fix it yourselves without pain or blood and we'll talk about it when your dad comes home..."  heh...

If You Are Going To Be An Asshole At 4:30am You Need To Be Really Cute Doing It...

...So says the demon who came in the window and stole my baby Marysu...

Yeah, that's what was going on in our house... That's fine.  She can have a night or two here and there.  And that's really what it's been.  A night or two here and there.  But come on folks, what do you remember?  Do you remember the nights you got sleep or the nights you didn't?

Just ask Choners... He remembers EVERYTHING.  With exception, he remembers more sleepless nights than not.  But I chock it up to, he's a Dad...

Hey, it's what helps ME sleep at night... bah-dum-ch...

I just remember laying in bed, hearing whining...then the whining stopped.  and the long procession of "Ptththhhththhtht..." began...and apparently, more whining...and then Dad got up... the whining stopped... he laid down... it started again...  He surrendered at Appomatox and the Yanks were cheering... or I shall say... blowing raspberries at the defeated.

Then I get a picture of the Winner...alseep in her high chair... So, really... Winner? or Loser?  I think Daddy lost the battle, but won the war...  muahahahahahaha...

It's little things like this that make being a parent awesome...

Really...

Oh and manipulation...  I don't usually like manipulation.. I think it's sneaky...  I like things straight forward.  But Harley is a brain ninja sometimes... so I have to play dirty.

I needed her to get her work done early so we can go see Nina on Friday while she is town!!  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!  The usual niceties weren't working... wah-wah-waaahhh...  I wanted the visit to be a surprise... but behold.. My child doesn't really give you the opportunity for surprise.  Something always comes along that causes you to blow the surprise right out of the water.  I have come to accept this for the most part.  So, I finally told her,"Ok here's the deal smarty pants.  You need to do two days worth of your homework packet tonight so that we can go see Nina cause she's in town..." 

The packet is done.

The End.

Kids are awesome dammit...  no matter what anybody says...

There I go, NOT speaking English again...

After repeating myself for the hundredth time to the four hundredth customer, I decided I must not be speaking English...
Amazing, I MUST be a genius...  And I didn't even KNOW IT!
Because why else would so many people ask me so many times if they called the right company?
You'd be surprised how many people don't call the right company...
They meant to call SEARS collections or the phone company in their part of rural Alabama (which is nowhere near me, notice the incredibly small percentage of times you see me type "ya'll")...

If I had a toddler attempting to speak in my house I would get it.
My baby doesn't talk... She doesn't even walk.. yet.  And I stress the "yet".

Marysu is 8 months and some odd days... lets say 8 and a half months and call it a day.  Fine? Fine.  Great, grand, wonderful.

And we're about to close the baby factory.  So all these cute little holy-shit-oh-dear-God things she is doing lately, we are freaking out over.  And Harley is freaking out, too.  Which is cool and all, but I thought I was going to find a finger on the ground when Harley came into the bathroom whilst I was occupying it and said,"Mom you gotta come see this!" 

No finger, it was merely the baby... playing with toys that Harley had set out on the coffee table.  But she was standing on her own, not leaning.  Wow.  That WAS a big'un.  Then last night she did it again, and me n daddy were freaking out.  Then she did the cutest thing ever, she danced.  We were watching Dark Shadows.  You know, good wholesome family viewing.
There is a montage and the song made Marysu dance.  She was standing in front of the coffee table, but was looking alongside it, not across from it.  The TV had her attention, but more so the song that was playing.  Her attention was better paid to the mound of Cheerios on the table.  Her left arm was keeping her balance, her body was faced to the side of the table and her right hand was grabbing Cheerios.  Basically, she was merely using the table as a crutch.  And bouncing.  She was bouncing to the music...  I couldn't believe it.  It was the most adorable thing ever.  And not one damned camera in sight!  What the hell is that about? 

There are so many cameras in my house I couldn't believe there wasn't one to capture this!  And when kids realize you think they are doing something awesome and are scrambling for a picture... they stop.  It's the universal law of children vs. photography of any kind.  So, I got ahold of my phone, and boom... no more dancing.  As if someone hit a button and her brain and body stopped.  Dammit.  Oh well.

Tomorrow we have Saturday "off".  No plans, no trips, no nothing.  I was stunned when I got the news from Choni that we would NOT be doing anything spectacular... Uhm... Okay...  Well, it's cooler.. so what better way to spend a cool day in a small house than to bake cookies!  I went and spent a whole day online checking out recipes for cut out cookies.  What else would you suggest I do with a box of 100 cookie cutters? 

Last year, well, the year before I SHOULD say, we made these cookies and homemade frosting and did the whole shebang.  It was fun AND delicious and Harley has been asking since to do it again.  Well, I had gestational diabetes last holiday season.  I don't recommend that basically... so because my husband is not a dick, he decided against any baking and promised we will doubly make it up this year.

And we already ARE!  Yay!  He got the few missing ingredients, because my cupboards are bake-tastic and tonight I make the dough and fridge it for baking tomorrow.  Then I will set out my little bowls and do different colored frostings so we can make the dinos green and fire trucks red and so on...

It's going to be a blast and I am sure we won't spend ALL day doing it, so I'm trying to figure out what else we can do other than clean.  But the obvious Go To here is clean. 

My house is not clean. It's not clean to my standards anyways.  It's no one's fault but our own.  And by ours I mean MINE.  Last year I was pretty much depressed during the last part of my pregnancy.  Getting the GD during the holidays really messed with me.  My days were so incredibly boring with the eating the same old thing day in and day out, telling time by what I ate and when and taking my blood sugar.  I realize people do this all the time, but I was pregnant and FULL of hormones... WAAAAYYY too many hormones...  My F.I.L was dying...  I wondered if would be able to see Marysu.. I wanted him to so badly.. and he did.  That's an answered prayed... check...  Choni was still trying to get piddly jobs... and he was dealing with his dad and with me and worrying about me and the unborn.  Harley was doing her first year in 1st grade, her first year with REAL homework and REAL schoolyard play and what-not.  I stopped caring about the house... Choni tried so hard to keep up with everything.  Things are okay, but I used to keep the house up better when I cared.  So now, baby is out, we are getting a new routine going now that we are not rushing to the inlaws every weekend to spend time while we have it.  It's more like, we go to keep Gma company.  And soon she won't necessarily require that anymore...  like tomorrow.  She is SO busy with things she is doing we are skipping our weekend trip.

That is really good news.  That means she is coping really well...  Which is great... I am so happy for her.  I am happy for me too, cause now I clean my house...  a step at a time. I am not climbing Everest in a day.  We need to clean the inside and outside of our windows, I need to clean out the tracks of the sliding windows and doors... I need to mop and sweep and vacuum, but into the cracks of things.  I can't tell you the last time the "cracks" were done.  It's been awhile.  I used to get in the bathrooms and scrub the floors on my hands and knees... Haven't done that in a while...

I wonder how I did all this the "last time"... you know, with Harley.
Well, I didn't.
I lived with my in-laws and everything was, "Oh no, you sit there, I'll do it..."
"Oh no, I'll change the baby, you finish up whatever you were doing..."
and so on.
It was awesome... and I didn't have to do any of my own housework until Harley was a year old and we moved.  Then I started cleaning again.  But Harley at 1 year is NOT the same as any Harley before. 

I figured it would happen this way, so I haven't been letting it get to me too badly.  I used to clean the house on the days that Harley went to Gma and Gpa's house and spent the night.  But she doesn't do that anymore, I'm not sure how that's going to work, but we'll figure it out.  Now I need to do what most people do...figure out how to clean the house with both kids in the house :)  Yay!  Ahem, Sarcasm...

But as with all things, we'll figure it out.  We always do...and I know that.  Which is another reason why I try not to let things bother me like they do.  Because we always figure it out.  And now that I have said that twice too many, I will look forward to the day when I can set the kids down to do what will keep them busy long enough to clean something... it's coming soon I can feel it. 

I already put the baby gate up in their room and locked Harley and Marysu in there to play.  It worked pretty well until Marysu realized I wasn't in there with them anymore.  That was not happy making for her.  I went in there and cleaned and it worked pretty well that way.  SO now I know I can tackle their room with them in there.  Battle: WON!! 

It seems like we are days from Mary's 1st bday.  It's her fault.  She's growing up too damned fast...  Dammit...  She eats foods...  she has 6 teeth... she stands... she tries to walk...  she baby-babble-talks...  I almost want to tell her to "get up and get it yourself"...  She wore an actual outfit for the first time yesterday because it was cold for the first time yesterday...  she looked so grown up **sad face** 

Now that I have gone on way too long...  I leave you with this...  Marysu's dance song...

The Difference between Adventurist and Masochist...

Interesting start to the week...  Not going to work.

Why do you ask?  Was there a holiday you missed?

No... unless getting zero sleep on account of a teething baby is considered a holiday... Maybe in Sweden... Those fuckers are weird... Or is it the Swiss?  Maybe it's the Swiss...

Miss Marysu decided that sleep is overrated when you're whole head hurts from teething...  I can't really disagree with her.  I would rather it be Friday or Saturday night and agree... Not Sunday...  I have a lot of sick days ahead of me.  I totally used one and I couldn't have been better for it than I am now.  It was a great idea.

I must say, every time we have started to discuss and have state-of-the-union type converstations about things, the man and I start to have these odd instances occur that just about cut into stone the decision we are trying to make. 

Do we get a new car?  I don't know, lets think about it... Meanwhile the old car dies... so yes, we do! 

Do we buy a house?  Well, the market crashed sending home prices into a downward spiral of depression era proportions and laying off the man so we made less and qualified for a low income loan...  Okay then...  if you insist!

...And the beat goes on...

The lastest?  Family size... We are thinking we are a family of four and that is IT...  We have been talking about us and our two girls long before there were two girls...and now they are here and I couldn't imagine life without them.  We feel like we are starting the rest of our lives...not like we've been  sitting around with our thumbs up our asses or anything, but there have been things that seemed like they would be more complete with ALL members of our family present, and we are now "there" and it's awesome!  I couldn't be more thrilled...So we made the appointment last week for the consult for the "Big V"... an affordable procedure that will hurt like hell for a few days be a simple out patient day of extra strength Tylenol and Advil.

So what happened??  Oh, well, apparently the little Baby Sandman skipped my house on Sunday... But I trapped the fucker and made him do his job last night and I am here at work, breaking and worry free due to plenty of sleep.

At the first appointment yesterday when our GP asked Antonio if he was sure... wow, I've NEVER heard my honey answer a question so quickly and assertively.  I was proud of him :)  And it was YES.  Not just YES, but HELL YES... 

I am not a gambler by any means and it does NOT comfort me when people say "Maybe the NEXT one won't 'this' or 'that'..."  Maybe unicorns will appear and pigs will fly...  and the marshmallow rain that Harley prays for will finally come...  I am not rolling the dice on the fact that the next kid WON'T keep us up with bad teething.  It's not every night, but when it happens, it's bad.

Come on people... don't shove rainbows up my ass.  My little sister asks me all the time, "Are babies hard?"  And I am honest and truthful...  "FUCK yes they are!"  The funniest thing?  Marysu IS a great baby...she's fantastic... On a pie chart it would be 95% awesome and 5% crazy due to teething and that 5% has taken place in the past month...  that's some jacked statistics if you do the math.  No baby is 100% stress free... You show me one and I'll tell you those assholes are talking about a doll... or a dog... it could be a dog.

Harley was sickeningly fantastic.  She WAS a perfect baby... only 99.1% because of the day she got her 9 month shot and she had a fever and cried screamed for three hours straight.  The house was echoing so badly I went outside and the neighbor asked what was wrong... SHOTS...  I got the, "Oh, yeah those days..." eye roll from the older lady who went back in her house, glad that she didn't have to deal with that anymore... whore.

And that was all the crazy baby business we had with Harley...  literally.

I couldn't deal with harder than this.  I am not wonder woman.... and I didn't marry superman.  He THINKS he's Batman, but that's a whole different thing altogether.  Again I quote "The definition of insanity is attempting the same thing over and over again expecting a different result..."  I am not going to insanely have another kid just so I can prove to myself that "It's not that bad..."  I am having more fun that not, but I am still not happy about the "not" part and can't wait for Marysu to get over the teeth hump.  I am sad about the gums being gone.

That gummy smile made my day so many times, but it's evolution people.  It happens, they get older and we are to embrace it.  I don't want more so I can see those gummy smiles again.  That's what pictures are for.  And I am making damn sure I have plenty of pictures so I can have a good long look and be done.

It may seem that I am trying to convince myself of something...I am trying to convince myself not to choke to death the next person that looks at my like I told them my dog died and not "We're done, Mary's the last of the babes...".  Plus, it was hard on me and Antonio.  I've never seen him worry so much about so many things all at once and I just don't want to go through that again...  It's time for phase 3, "The rest of our lives"...  I can't wait...and first we start with family road trips a plenty!  It's a really exciting time for us...  I do realize, that there is a possibility that the "V" won't work...  I have a new baby cousin because of such...  but still... I know it will work for us.  Because Antonio has never dreamt of 3 kids... That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  We have done this twice now, we're good.

Let the adventure commence! 

Engage...

The One Where We Think We Are On The Travel Channel ...

It’s usually around the 3^rd try (which is NOT always the charm) of trying to scan something into my system that I decide a break is in order.  How does that go?  Insanity by definition is the act of attempting the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?  Something like that…and who wants to be defined as insane?

Not I said the fly.

I’m not really sure what I intend to mention here…

Maybe just some fact mentioning…

I got a new laptop.  We are still without full internet access: a) I am boycotting major providers because the only ones available to me are fascists… b) the cost…  I was hoping I would be inspired to do any type of intriguing posts on the laptop and post it later at work.  Well, I am now probably going to shitcan that idea ever-so-temporarily.  We are currently in the throes of getting back to our daily Daddy’s-not-working lives.  I do less shopping for recreation.  And usually it will take until right before Christmas for us to start doing very different things when I get home from work.  As it is with the wee one, things are slightly different.  I get home and I get the kids. 

The objective of the night: 9pm bedtime.

Not too farfetched.  It gives us 1 hour of Mom/Dad time before optimum parent bedtime is achieved.  We have a high success rate.  Success rate tends to be higher when we don’t go anywhere.  I realize that sounds bloody lame, and boring, and unexciting, and the opposite of awesome.  But we are super savers and tend to get off on watching our bank accounts climb J and climb J 

I must say, we do have quite a “rest of the year” planned considering that fact…

And not to mention what we already did…  Had the baby…that’s A… we had a great week when the Ninas came out.  Then there was my trip to my cousins with the kids…drove the van.  No flying.  Then there was the ever present big birthday bash for Thing 1.  We still have a wedding up north to attend, and more up north family fun in December to ring in a 50^th wedding anniversary.  And we are totally going to these events because family is #1 J We have already planned Spring Break in the Emerald City because the Ninas are bomb… and Harley has been asking to go back there.  She wants to show her sister her favorite town (other than her own of course)…  It’s been two years since Choners has been up there and he wants to go so it seemed fortuitous that the baseball season does not start at home this year, but away…for the first time in what will be 6 seasons… 6 seasons man… whoa... I can’t believe he’s been doing this gig that long… J  So we are happy campers!  The wee one…she will be unfazed… well, maybe not entirely.  She might be slightly fazed by the 18 hr car ride.  18 hrs with a 14 month old.  Yeah, we live on the EDGE!

What was my point?  Oh yeah, super savers!!!  The mode is on…NOW.

Generally I park myself with the kiddos when I get home because I miss them sooo much!  And daddy has his manly things to attend to…trash taking out, dish doing, dinner cooking, laundry folding… things of that sort.  And I would do all these things, but he just about THROWS them at me... How do I argue with that?  Hehehe…

"How To" tip of the day: 

if someone is hovering and you want them to go away...  Share the last diaper changing experience you had...  you can thank me later.