Hi Blog! It's Me, Margaret!

I can't believe I did it to myself... I really can't...

I didn't know I was doing it, but I was... It's been almost a year since I stopped physically journaling.  I thought for sure when that happened that a psych consult would surely follow.

What I am realizing is that my world did not in fact come crashing down around me.

So, I take that as a very positive sign! A sign of the strong foundation that myself and others have built to preserve...I am still standing without what I thought for sure was keeping me sane by allowing me to clearly and concisely catalogue my thoughts.  I stopped because, well, you know when something you love becomes work?  My journaling became work.  I started having to make games with myself to get me to do it...partially because my wrists were hurting after writing and partially because I had no time.  I started to keep the journal with me, but the thought of whipping it out in public and scratching away started to seem looney to me.  And the act of pulling it out of my purse, grabbing a pen and writing a full sentence started to become impossible in and of itself due to bad timing (or perfectly bad time). I then told myself that I owed myself one page per day of journaling...that was a recipe for failure right there...and then when I would finally sit down, I figured I would have this built of flood gate to open and I'd get a few pages, just the facts...and I'd be done.  I used to fill books in months... it took me over a year to fill the last one...

That's when I decided to turn to this blogging thing.  I figured, that as a non-pro, I am not subscribing to anyone's deadlines, but my own.  I didn't want to give myself deadlines, but I still had to make a game of it just to keep even MYSELF interested.  Cause I guess I have a slight ADD problem I guess... maybe.. perhaps.. what was I saying???

I hate when people blog blog blog...and then they're gone...cause they were "living life"... not HATE>  I guess that's a strong word... I have seen that a lot is what I mean... and I saw it so much I thought "That's not gonna be me"...wow...that's a dumb thing to say...

IT'S ME IT'S ME!! Living life!  Not logging it in!  I'd like to think I'm not terribly personal on here, so it's not like I'm going to minute by minute catalogue my time "off"... it's not really that interesting.  Thing 1 got out of 2nd grade.  3rd grade here we come!  I wanted to get her something for her bday that rocked...a big bag of books...hehehe...

Then, there's this whole (now) 17 month old thing going on... which is fine.  She's her own person, not a like her sister... Which we were prepared for.  But DAMN... talk about taking advantage...  Daddy even got up with her a few times last week in the middle of the night cause she was just...bothered.  she just needed someone...and he was there...and he cuddled...and snuggled...and half awake walked her back to bed and tucked her in all warm like... she was happy after that...

Her eye teeth are coming in at a snail's pace...especially when compared to the rest of her mouth...  She LOVES to run away from you...so "training" her to walk with us will be a total adventure... 

As completely different as life gets everyday, I fall more in love with where we are at everyday.  Even though I still have some weird mouth/jaw/tooth/ear/throat pain going on every day in some way, shape or form (I'll be looking into that sometime soon)...

So that's ONE way of catching up.  I have this little book...  It's a cute little thing... it's in my desk at work...and It's full of "ideas" for the blog... it's so full, I almost need a new one.

Talk about a step in the WRONG direction... I inadvertently ended up doing something I was un able to do a year ago...jotting down ideas one day at a time... well there you have it...that's catch up sesh number one...  hope I didn't make anyone fall asleep...
that would suck...but then again... I'm not the one with would be key marks on their face... so there's that...