Deep Thoughts.... by Harley Quinn

Interior: Home: Evening

A baby is in the high chair, it's mother feeding the nightly dose of baby food.  An older child makes their way through the dining room to the back door.

Mom: Come on little one, eat!

-the baby is fascinated with the family dog and will not eat, but continues to gawk and coo at the dog.

Mom: Come on, EAT!  Hellooooo....~snaps her fingers, bangs a hand on the high chair tray in attempt to get the baby's attention.~Marysu, the dog is NOT that interesting.

Harley: Mom, I think I know why the dog is interesting to Marysu.  It's because the dog has four legs and it's FREAKING HER OUT!


... and there you have it folks... dogs freak kids out...and babies can count to 4.

♪♫Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...♫♪~or~ The One Where I Quote David Bowie...

It's official,  we now have ourselves a sitter/crawler/stander pull-herself-up-er.  We now have a barricade in our living room that would give any good Fire Marshall nightmares for a month.  We went out and retrieved "big girl" carseats.

Now we enter one of my favorite awkward phases of babyhood:  NO!!

I knew it was coming, I just hoped we would have a little more time.

Apparently, I was wrong.  That's okay, not the first time...

And little miss teether is opening our eyes to a part of kiddom that we did not encounter with Thing 1...  chewing on everything... and everything going into the mouth.

We didn't have to deal with this the first time at all...  It was quite bizaar and I didn't realize it until this one started to put every single thing in her mouth that I realized:  This is NEW!!  Oh great...  So needless to say, the infant seat is a memory and we are using the new carseats... which means no carrying apparati to run her around in.  We are going to use shopping cart seats now...  Oh yay... one thing comes to mind.  GERMS!!

I am going to FOLD like origami...  I am going to get one of those cloth thingies that you put the baby in so they are comfy in the cart and high chairs at the restaurants... Yep, I'm gonna get one.  I didn't get one with Harley... There are just some things that I felt were gadget-for-gadgets-sake and I was able to keep our baby moments simplistic.  Well, there ARE a lot of gadgets out there...but I think those cloth things are cute...and I want one.  So there. 

I realized, there are a lot of things I have pandered to this time 'round... And on a psychological stand point I already know it's because this is our last.  There is something to be said when you find yourself staring down The Tunnel of The Last Kiddo... 

Sometimes I wish we weren't so gauldarn goddman logical and realistic about things.  If we had gotten the three bedroom house for more  money I would have my kids in their own rooms and a room for another if need be... then I would easily be able to tell myself, Oh we can squeeze another in, and forget about the sleepless nights with ease...and the GD...  Uhm...  I can't ever forget about the gestational diabetes and I won't ever let myself go through that again... 

Therefore, I am really glad that we have a small house, less to clean...  that's A).  B) less to heat and cool in summer and winter.  Big point for us where we live.  HUGE point.  Considering I had to budget for our cooling bill back in spring time to make sure we cover our utilities.  It's been triple digits all summer and we have a baby.. yeah no.  I'm not playing with that... not even a little.

I have had every size house there is...  I have CLEANED them all.  Have you ever vacuumed 4500 sq/f of house?  I have... I have lugged a Kirby up and down stairs at the behest of an anal retentive mother.  NOPE.. NO two story house for me.  Luckily, Choners spent 15 years in a two story house...  he was not a fan...  I live in such a catch 22 of sorts...  and I am glad.  I created this madness because I know myself... I know my hubby..  We are enjoying this last bundle of joy so much because we know she's the last... it kinda makes her more special for us.  Harley was special because she was first.. Marysu is special because she is last.  Not that people that have more than 2 kids don't make them special... but I mean us in our situation... I am glad it is this way.  Doesn't mean I can't long and miss once in a while.  I'm not there yet, but I know I will be one day.  I wouldn't say I am "there" now, I am just acknowledging that it's coming... 

Never said I made sense people.

Also, I never really understood people getting SO many tattoos... stick with me on this...

I talked to a couple of people that have several...SEVERAL... and they all say different things that makes them want more...like the sitting in the chair, the anticipation, the buzz of the needle, the adrenaline rush from the pain... all that I've heard... 

Well, I guess all I'll miss is the anticipation of finding out you're pregnant...the two lines on the test popping up...  The waiting for the sex of the baby...  the stuff of course...  the prepping... rushing to the hospital...  checking out with the baby and going home with an additional family member...  But I will have so many firsts with my girls, I'm sure that I'll forget about all that stuff in time.  One day I'll realize that I haven't thought of that stuff in years and I don't care anymore... 

So many changes...  I'm ready for some good ones... I'm ready to ring in a New Year and put some of this 2012 business behind me!!

Boredom Warning!! I'm talking kiddos...

I just felt the need to give some people fair warning:  and here I go...

Everyone has a different school of parenting... I like to think I take some old school and some new and have created some what of a mash up... but see...  the thing that is crucial to understand there is... that's what I did for ME.  MYSELF...  all I can ever do is put out there into the void what I did that worked for me, in my situation, and for my kids...  and leave it at that.  The thing is, it works.  When I hear someone talking about something they are doing...and it's not working...and this person is trying to give ME advice... Uhm...  No.  I'll listen...  I'll be courteous.  I am NOT going to go rush home and try this crazy nonesense.  Heh...  Just had to get all that out. 

Moving right along... (dum-e-dum-dum-e-dum)... 

My kids... sheesh... So similar and yet so incredibly different.  It's just going to keep me more fascinated with them as they grow more into their own people.  I could create a spread sheet/pie chart/flow chart and the point would be the same.  We are trying everything til we find what works.  Of course, spooning into our sea of history with the oldest, and my niece and nephew and lil sis, we have quite a few experiences to start with and move from there.  Funny thing is with the wee one... I never thought we'd stop on what works and land on the things that do the trick...  Some more sense making: 

With Harley, she could eat and drink anywhere, anytime, anyplace and no schedule was required.  She was fine on the non-plan plan.  Marysu... pretty much the same.  She needs naps for sure or she gets grumpy on us... but it doesn't matter when or how.  If she's tired, she crashes.  As long as it doesn't affect her eating schedule.  That is what she needs to keep normal.  When she eats her meals.  Bottles... eh...  Food... oh so very important.  Fine.  We can do that.  Which brings me to the biggest bummer from last night.

We get home from a pitstop at Target just to look around and be in a cool place...  Sadie has eaten our loaf of bread.  Yep... so of course I clean up the mess straight away.  Usually I can leave Marysu in the seat for a few minutes after we enter the house.  This allows me to make a bathroom break before "home time" officially begins.  She wasn't having it this time though.  I thought, "Great, she can't leave my sight now.  We are 'There'".  But no, she just wanted out.  And I saw a few things on the floor I didn't want her to come into contact with, Harley needed dinner, I needed dinner, Marysu needed dinner, the dog needed to go outside... yadayadayada...  In my swift fashion, I decided to try the play pen... it NEVER worked with Harley... EVER...  First time for everything though right?  I threw the babe in, Harley tossed her some toys and proceeded to clean the living room (she did a bang up job), I cleaned the dogs mess and she was outside for the rest of the evening as a result of her idiocy... 

I was able to make my dinner and Harley's dinner in the time that Marysu was in the playpen...the bummer part?  I HAD to remove her from her cage of fun because it was her dinner time...and I KNEW that if she missed her dinner time... Daddy would have a bad night... or morning.. however.. it's dark. 

The switch from the play pen to the high chair was made.  Squash, sweet potato, apple, carrot mashup was served with rice cereal for texture (also VERY important for this little girl) and the giant bowl of food was devoured...
The rest of the bummer...she would not return to the play pen.  Running amuck on the carpet ensued and the dog was let in for no other reason than to entertain Marysu.  Harley played with her Zoobles...  watched Cartoon Network...  I had seconds on my dinner.. put away baby clothes... and we called it a night around 9:30...  I picked up the living room from the Hurricane Harley and straightened up a bit.  I had lunch stuff to ready for the morning and to bed I went.  "Cookie's Fortune" on in the background so I could fall asleep sans Choners... 

Well, people... That in a nut shell is a typical night in our household.  Especially when the Daddy is working.  The food changes, the movie at night changes...sometimes I take a shower before bed, sometimes I don't... 

If anyone ever wonders why I don't post day to day.. cause that's it... really.. 

Unless I want to get really motherly on this thing. 

Then I would bring you up to date on the kiddos right now and have something to build from.

Harley: starts 2nd grade on Monday.  Cheese n rice people...  really? 
Lost two bottom teeth... Her muppet hair doesn't grow... so we cut it.  Now, we don't have to trim it for a really long time and it doesn't get rat's nest tangled anymore.  Yay!  She likes anything as far as toys and things of that nature go.  She shouts out preferences if you ask her.  But she's happy with whatever you give her...for now...  I'm waiting.  Patiently.  Feeding her is a new adventure every day and the small battles are won and lost...but me and Dad are winning the war.

Marysu: 7 months as of next wednesday.. what the hell?  Two bottom teeth came in already.  She crawls, she sits, she pulls herself up already.  I'm so not okay with that.  But she has a big sis and a dog to keep up with...what was I expecting?  A perpetual newborn?  Soon she will be out of her infant seat and I already have carseats scouted.  I would have bought them already because I love them, but Daddy had a great point... Where the HELL would I put them exactly?  Hhmm, damn him and his perfectly good logic. 

So them's the kids...  I could make a whole blog about "Shit my kid says"...  Harley and her brain...  which is what she says a lot... "Mom it's not me... it's my brain..."  Which comes out "Bwain"... and makes it so much cuter.

Okay so this is completely turning into randomness and I need to go anyway...  The most important thing right now is my awesome mechanice did my smog and did it so fast that I didnt' have anything with me to pay for it so what is he doing?  Letting me pay tomorrow when I take my other vehicle in... Thank God for small favors :)

And sleeping babies...sleeping babies are great!!

If I had a nickle for every time I attempted to start and finish a new post... I'd have a shitload of nickles...

...And all I can think of is how glad I am at this moment that you can't smell breath over the internet...  My next book will be called "Coffee:  it's whore-ish tendencies to ruin my fantasticness..."
Moving right along...
Seriously, if I had a nickle for EVERY SINGLE TIME I opened up my page, attempted a post...and deleted it... I'd be a rich bitch...  just sayin...

I haven't even written in my personal journal in over a month...  Actually; hold please...

June 20th...  that was the last entry...  There is maybe one person reading this and scratching their head at how odd that sounds...so much time between entries...and this is a person who, after high school, would call me and say "So, what did I do for New Year's, '98??"  And yes... I would be able to answer.  Sad but true... 

And the last entry was about how our uncle went missing...and he was recently "found"...  I did not finish that entry... it stops mid page...

 It's a sad, tragic story and all I can say is...he will be missed. 

Especially by the children in his life.  Tio was a big hit with the kids.
I wanted to get up and say something at his service, but there was a lot going on and I just wanted the day to end...  for some reason it was harder for me to do the "Celebration of Life" thing that day...  I know why...  but it's none ya bidness... 

What I would have said was this:

I will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart for Tio...  for what he did for my wonderful F.I.L....  (see what I did there?) 
When Felipe got sick, Tio came out... NO questions asked.  "Bro needs me? DONE!"  Cause that's the kind of guy he was.  The very first time I met him was at Tita Carmen's funeral.  I didn't see him again until he came out to care for his brother... 

The first time I went to the house to re-introduce ourselves to this long lost uncle, Thing 1 was asking her Gma for something...  and annoyingly I might add.  Because at Gma and Gpa's anything goes.  Well, with Gpa not really able to much anymore, I was really getting on the little one to start doing things herself.  Get your own snacks, take yourself to the bathroom (she milked that one DRY I tell you) and so on...

Well, on this particular day, Gpa turns to his brother and says "Hey, Mija wants to play with her playdough... Play with her." 

Now, if this was most families, I'm sure Gpa would have been met with a certain amount of cynicism...  or something opposite of what happened...

Without hesitation or question... Tio disappeared up into the girliest of girl rooms, and came down with the playdough set in tow...  And he sat there, with his bad knees, and played with her until his brother needed him for something...then he came back and continued on playing...  He gave his great niece something that day... he gave her back her grandpa time that she was already starting to miss because gpa couldn't play and move around like he used to with her.  And they played ALOT...  so she noticed when he had to stop.  But that day...  she got her grandpa back...  and many days after.

I wanted to cry...that was so awesome...

And I wanted to cry last night too...

Sitting on the couch, thing 2 draining a rice bottle...  nice evening air flowing through our little house... (I'm setting a scene here bitches) watching re-runs of The Wonder Years...  Harley cleaned the living room of her Hiroshima like proportion of toy explosion and came out of her room...  disappeared into my room... she doesn't DO that... like EVAH...  Came out with the paper from Tio's service in one hand...and her Gpa's in the other.

I lost it.

She already had little tears in her eyes...

One thing is for sure. I am in a whole new league here.  I did NOT know loss like that when I was her age.  I know that my hubby didn't either.  So... as to what to do in this situation?  We are winging it like a bastard cause we are at a loss as to how to handle it.

One more short story about Tio...kinda...

The kiddo has a lion named Leo...  Tio's name is Leo...

She thought that maybe that's too many Leo's...she changed his name to Larry. 

His name is Leo again...